Voices for Words
by WitherAway
Summary: One question, B. Buffy." A pause. I don't breath. "Why, why did you take my jacket?" Post-Chosen, does not follow any of the comics. The main character is Faith...
1. Notes

Interesting Notes from the Author:

New: Alright... new readers, if you wouldn't mind... Feel free to skip the chapters involving the tree, I tried to make something work that really didn't. I just wanted to show the character of Faith from a different perspective... oops. And... I wrote a lot below for my own benefit, and just I just use it for... making things confusing. Don't let this ... deter you from continuing on. Give it a few chapters... it might grow on you.

First off I will explain that I am new to writing fan-fiction, normally I just write original characters but since I've been suffering from a nasty case of writers block for the last few years, so I decided I would try this. So if you review just know that I consider constructive criticism very, very helpful.

I have taken quite a few liberties in this piece of work… Where should I start? I don't own anything, characters, fonts, locations, anything! This is totally not for profit; it's just something to keep my mind busy. If the characters sound uh, out-of-character please go ahead and tell me so, I won't mind (as long as you do it in a constructive non-hateful way…)

The points of view change, but there are only two: Faith and an original character… and maybe another… but there will never be more than two. It should be really easy to figure out. Another thing would be my tenses, I was never very good at figuring those out when I had to do writing in school (lots of red ink and revisions) but since I'm not getting graded here, you the reader will either hate me and discontinue reading or let me know and keep reading, whatever you choose is fine by me.

I should also touch on the weird perspective, when Faith is 'narrating' she is actually telling the story, to someone… so it should all be past tense… the italics are her thoughts at the time in the past… I just wanted to cut out the whole 'she said this, then he said that and then she did this ….' It might not work as well as I had hoped but it sure is fun to write from that perspective (in my own opinion).

Timeline you ask? Let's see… it starts about a year or two after 'Chosen' with plenty of flashbacks and a few vague explanations about the missing year(s). Does that make it 2004 sometime? I do NOT follow the comics whatsoever… but I did steal the castle… and all the information about the location of that damn castle was that it was located in and/or around the moors in Scotland… so I'm toying with geography (I did a bit of research … a bit … for some of the other locations) but most things should be at least 'feasible'.

Ships? Uh, Willow/Kennedy … Faith/Buffy (there but also not… tension! Yay!) Faith/Original Character (very, very, very small…)

Buffy's trip will not be elaborated here… just a minor explanation. I _might_ write her story.

The Tree is a Pedunculate oak… Heh. It's a real damn tree!

Oh, and uhm… the names of the chapters… well, let's just see if you can figure that one out…


	2. Cherry Bark

Disclaimer: I own nothing of "Buffy: The Vampire Slayer" that all belongs to Joss Whedon and Co. I own nothing! The name of the tree isn't even my own...

Cherry Bark

The tree with a soul stood with broken arms reaching out to a world forgotten, untended and hated. The tree wasn't unhappy at this fact, it was merely a watcher. It stood abused against the weather and whatever the earth decided to throw its way, the tree did not think it unfair, it merely watched. Fifty years is a long time to have been watching but the tree did not complain to the other trees because every tree felt the effects of the time, and the other trees were a bit snobbish. No, this tree liked the passing of time because it always had entertainment, as long as it was alive.

The tree sat firmly rooted into the ground and it tried to remember the beings that would gather under its weak branches, in its first decade, and perform curious actions. Shy glances and giggling, it assumed. The beings were indeed odd but the tree said nothing, all it did was soak up the sunlight. In its first decade one of its branches was lost in a great accident, the beings were violent with the tree and the tree was not yet as strong as its elders. A being used the trees limb as a tool and many of the other beings disappeared in great puffs of dust. The tree had seen this before but it did not mean anything to the tree, so the actions were pretty much ignored. With the problem solved, the tree busied itself with the squirrel that was tickling its other branch, not noticing the being fighting off other beings.

Many decades after the loss of its first branch, its first life changing memory, the tree can still remember every knife that had sliced its skin and it will forever keep the symbols of the strange beings there. The tree could not understand why it had been chosen to keep the symbols safe, it was just a tree, and because of that, it asked no questions and merely safe guarded the secrets. Years passed but the secrets remained.

Changes occurred in the three decades after the scars, the trees friends fell due to many storms and the careless actions of the beings. Strange stones now line the area all around the tree, the once vibrant area was turned cold and harsh, the tree can remember when the beings would gather under its branches and laugh, now all that the tree can see are tears. The tree once used to be home to squirrels and birds, now it is home to nothing. No animal lives near the tree anymore. The tree can still feel the sun on its strong branches, the ones that remain, but it can no longer feel the air.

Fifty layers of skin have grown around the heart of the tree and it has never said a word to the strange beings, and it will continue to remain silent no matter what being curses to the sky. The tree has only its thoughts to worry about.

The tree has been trying to forget the hurt that has been in its presence, hiding in its memories, much to no avail. The _dark one_, the title that has been given to one of the beings, has been around too often. It is a great honour, the title, but the beings are ignorant to that. The beings that do get titles have to be of great interest to the trees, and this _dark one_ is of great interest to one tree in particular. Trees rarely feel safe in the presence of the destructive beings, having seen what they can accomplish with so little, yet this tree does not feel any animosity towards the _dark one_. When the sun sets the _dark one_ remains, and there has been no conflicts with this arrangement so far.

The tree remains strong for _dark one, _since the being cannot be strong for itself. The _dark one_ would take notice if the tree were to become weak and sickly, as it would have no place to sit when the sun is retires. The tree assumes this, but in its own way, it is a rational assumption. To test the _dark one,_ the tree would drop an acorn near itand observe the response; most times it was ignorant that something had occurred, other times the tree was surprised, as surprised as a tree could get, the being would swipe the acorn from midair and squeeze it in its hand until blood appeared. As the being squeezed the life from the acorn, a piece of the being became one with the tree, the tree could feel the pain of the _dark _one, could feel everything that the being felt, without understanding what it meant, the tree could only feel unhappy. That was the one thing it had in common with the _dark _one, unhappiness.

In the short time that the tree and the _dark one _had spent together, the tree could not help but form a bond with the being, and when the _man_ first showed up, the tree was afraid it would take the_ dark one _from it forever.


	3. I'm No Angel

Disclaimer: Again, I own nothing (just the typos). I especially do not own the title of the song "I'm No Angel" which is sung by Dido and owned by whomever owns it. "whomever" is that correct? ...

I'm No Angel

"Faith?" His voice filled the air, a voice I really didn't want to hear. I'd listened to him enough, and no good had ever come from it. Oh right, maybe some good did rear its ugly head but between you and me, good has an evil side. I've seen it all too much. So what harm will it do if I just sit here? _Breath in, breath o-_

"Faith!" _Fuck, gimmee a break, can't yah see I'm busy? Least yah can do is let me finish my train of fuckin' thought._

"Faith... I know you can hear me." I raise my eyebrow. He knows a lot, haven't quite figured out how he can read me so well, when I can't pick anything off him.

"An' how the fuck didja know that?" I open my eyes and glare a little. He does nothing but smile, and I hate that smile, he wins every time. The hell if I just let him, it just hurts too much to fight him _every-single-fucking-time_. I know what you are thinking, I have not grown soft. I'd beat his ass to within an inch of his life… but, I said it once already, it hurts too much.

Alright so I tried, not a physical beat down: verbal. Tried damn hard for the first month or so, every day it was the same thing and everyday he brought me outta the funk, brought me outta the dark. No one could do that but big A, that reminds me, we haven't spoken in a while... Fuck. He's looking at me funny, I probably have a funny-ass look on my face, which means I should probably apologize or somethin'.

"Damn man, put that shit-eatin' grin away and just spill it." That's as close to an apology as I can muster right now. I take a deep breath and pull myself to my feet with the aid the tree I was restin' on. Good ol' tree. He never has good news for me. Oh, not the tree... Giles, the tree don't say shit to me. Please, even I know trees can't talk.

"Right," He's cleaning his goddamn glasses again, and lookie here, he's usin' that damn rag I got him for stickin' 'round. I give him a small grin, which disappears as soon as he looks up.

"We need you to settle something back at the castle, it seems as though there was a misunderstanding between a few of the younger slayers --" He starts rambling and using big words that have no business in this conversation.

"G, Giles..." I still haven't gotten used to using his full last name, it bothers me some, bothers me a lot actually. They all figure it'll show the girls I'm serious about fillin' in for B while she's off 'finding herself'. I snort. My inner monologue is so witty, but I am serious… about most things nowadays.

"Faith, I assure you, this is no laughing matter." _Don't worry G, wasn't laughing at you_. "Your integrity is on the line here. You have to prove you are a ... a competent leader."

"Fuck man, first off, I don't have much 'integrity' and secondly," _What the fuck, secondly? "_You want me to be B, Buffy, but that ain't me. I can't be her. All I know is me, so, you want me to settle this little fuckin' feud, fine. But at the end of the day, the girls loyal to B will remain loyal to B. Let me tell you, in case you haven't noticed, not a lot of people are willin' to watch my back."

Sad but true, B left us a while back, about two months after we got the castle up and running. It was just enough time to get her some 'watchdogs'. I'll start at the beginning, but you only get the nutshell version.

I was gone those first few weeks, when it was just Giles, Buffy and the Scoobs tryin' to figure out what was next after LA, and by gone I mean left out. I was not included in their meetings. Neither was Angel, so we just chilled, but finally enough was enough, I took off for a little while, it was all of two days before B hunted me down and hauled me back. Said something like, I needed to remain where I could be watched. So unless I was headed back to jail, which I wasn't, I was going to be going back with her. Or she'd put the world outta its misery. Didn't know how to take that at first, then her tears reminded me. There was an apology or two, said she didn't mean to -- ah, sorry, rambling. I reminded her that I wasn't a leader, never was. She said I wouldn't have to be the leader, the boss, just her right hand. Smirk, bigger smirk, larger slap. It was all worth it. So yeah, by not being the leader of the crew, not many put their loyalties with me. Giles just don't get it though.

I'll tell yah right now, G looks like he's about to let me have it. Haven't broken him yet, but one of these days I swear he'll slap me... that won't be a good day. For me, or for him…

"That is not as true as you'd believe Faith. You have plenty of people to stand behind you, support you. Now let's go, I don't want to leave my car idling for too long." He mumbled something else as he turned, I caught it but it wasn't relevant to where my mind was going.

My hand drifted lazily to the scars on the tree, I traced the latest initials to mark its hide. **F.L. **It was enough for me; I had finally made my mark somewhere. I couldn't get it done in America, so here I am in Scotland starting over, or you know, trying too.


	4. Black

**Disclaimer: **I own, nothing... the characters that aren't mentioned directly by name... nothing. Oh, I guess I own the typos, and the lack of continuity and all the other bad mistakes.

Black

The tree didn't mind when the _dark one_ had stored a secret in its skin, the tree had felt honoured, since it knew how much it mattered. When the other beings had placed the knife to its skin, the tree was then holding broken promises, selfish acts. When the _dark one_ adorned the tree with symbols, the tree knew it mattered. It wasn't like the others. When the _dark one_ had first arrived the tree was frightened, it had only felt this pain when its own kind had been ripped from the ground, and this being was nothing like its own kind. The symbol left had felt like a promise, one that would not be broken.

Since the tree was indeed a tree, it could not comfort the _dark one;_ it could not offer anything that wasn't already there. The tree did ask the universe for a small favour, this was something all trees practiced but very rarely, a favour from the universe was a very special gift, one that should not be wasted. The tree had not asked for a favour in at least two decades and figured enough time had passed, so it asked for rain. Lots of rain. The past year had been a very good one, the darkness over the area had vanished, the squirrels had returned, there was no drought or flooding, but that wasn't the point. When the clouds appeared the _dark one_ did not notice; when the lightning struck and the thunder clapped the _dark one_ did not notice. When the rain came it came hard and fast. The _dark one_ behaved oddly, it did not immediately seek the dry shelter under the trees thick branches, but rather sank closer to the wet earth and made itself appear smaller.

The tree had often wished that in its younger years it would have taken the time to listen to the conversations the beings held beneath its branches, but being a young tree it found better things to do. As the tree aged, it found it harder to pay attention to the strange beings because it did not totally understand what they were doing. It was, however, terribly fond of the wild rose bush that grew at the far end of it roots. When the trees future became uncertain two decades ago, when the beings brought the stones, that is when the tree wished it had been smarter in its youth, then maybe it could have understood where the other trees had gone, all the tree had was a considerable amount of pain to got with its uncertainty. When _dark one_ had been subjected to the rain, the tree did not understand its reactions, one of the things the tree knew about these beings was they liked to be under the branches when the rain came. The tree made it rain, but the being had wilted. This confused the tree to no end.

The rain continued to fall and the tree was helpless to do anything, the time it would take for a branch to cover _dark one_ the rain would be long over, and the being long gone. The tree was very hesitant to ask for another favour and was debating whether or not it should even debate the thought of asking when it felt the water on its skin. It felt the presence of another life. The tree felt the _dark one_ beneath its branches accepting shelter; the act of sheltering the being was enough to make the tree happy.

So when the _man_ had come for the _dark one,_ the tree became scared. The life it had sheltered returned to it almost daily, and at the very least, weekly. The tree had had no new visitors for at least a decade and had become bored with the rose bush lately, it was really just there to look pretty, and other trees had nothing new to say. The squirrels no longer lodged in its branches and the birds, well, got annoying. Everything was the same, and then the _dark one_ changed that. The tree did not want things to return to the old way.


	5. The Red

**Disclaimer:** Happy Canada Day :) and as usual, I own nothing, zip, zero. For those interested in this shit I write, thank you for reading. Hopefully the story and my writing style ... improves. Keep an eye out for that.

The Red

The run from the _grounds _was always an exhilarating one; the car ride home was never very fun. There was no radio, no good conversation and the road was fuckin' bumpy. It didn't help that Giles' car was a piece. All that did nothing for my head, which was killing me. Arguing with G really takes a lot out of me, who the fuck knows why. Ok, I know why. Ever since B left that's all I do with him, argue. Actually, that's all I did before B left. At least when she was around the arguing was split a few different ways. I'd fight with her, then with Hood, then X, sometimes Andy and Ken, and G too. Never Dawn. So when B left too many memories reared their ugly heads while I was fighting with everyone, so I stopped, helped our friendships –we have them now, which caught me off guard. Now I just fight (argue) with Giles, it just hurts more now, but I'll never admit to that. So fuck off.

"Faith?" I think that's the fifth time he's said my name in the last ten minutes. He probably wants to talk about my _training_ or lack of; I'm all "super-slayer" now. We had an encounter with some puss bucket before Buffy left, back when we were all good. Long story short, a sacrifice made me rethink my life's actions. Got another shot, with a couple catches. Have a few more tricks up my sleeve, think of me as three times Buffy … in the same hot body. Mine! Not hers… There are only four people with this information: Myself, G, Hood and the Powers that Be. Yeah, they are a person. Giles wants me to take some 'special training' to help 'hone my new-found abilities'. He says it'd make me a better leader, I spun that a different way. Too long, maybe later. He probably just wants to give me more information on the mini-mutiny I have on my hands. I notice his knuckles turn white as his grip intensifies on the wheel.

"Sorry G, my minds elsewhere... what can I do yah for?" I hate how he gets to me now, even when I tell him the truth, I always feel like I'm lying.

"There's some Tylenol in the glove box." I pull my hand from my temple and smirk. I'm easy to read. As Hood puts it, my story is a lot of pictures with very little dialogue. Funny. My mind's not as empty as she thinks.

"Who said anything about my head hurting?"

"You may think you are the Queen of Mystery, but let me tell you this, and you won't have to hear it again, you don't fool me for a second. You don't fool any of us that know you, for one bleeding second." He smiles; there is no anger in his voice, no sarcasm, no disdain. He caught me off guard, said something I wasn't ready for. Sure, there are some things I can't hide, but I figured no one would ever call me on it. I used to have people afraid of me, afraid of saying the wrong things to me 'cause I'd rip their face off, I never thought that'd change. Guess it did.

"Don't know what you're talkin' 'bout G. Things …are great. Perfect..." _'__When exposed, lie'. _Thanks mom… I appreciate the words of support. I was too young to learn that rule! To fuckin' young to meet the world with such a jaded attitude!

"Right." The car comes to an abrupt halt. It's a very short car ride. "Willow would like a word with you, sooner rather than later, Faith." I tense my jaw and nod, if Giles saw through me, Hood definitely knows more than she's lettin' on. Great, that's all I need. It's always fun arguing with Hood; never know what you could be turned into. "Oh, and she also said to mention to you, that she would appreciate it if you would stop calling her 'Hood'. Apparently, it's old." I smirk. That is a funny story. Well, ok, maybe not that funny, but there are key elements that have a bit of funny to them. Fine… the story sucks, it's real shitty but it's either laugh or cry, and laughing feels better.

See, I got the nickname 'Hood' for Red soon after Buffy left. She just left, we spent a night talking, just talking, and my memory is a bit hazy about what we were talkin' about since she decked me pretty good. Buffy, not Red. I know what you're thinking, I may be some 'super-slayer' but she caught my right on the chin and she does have a deadly right hook. The rest I remember pretty much clear as mud.

She whispered a quick sorry and handcuffed me to the leg of her bed: her, me and handcuffs, kinky shit for a straight blonde. I figured she had packed already, got all her stuff waiting outside or even at her destination. That's what I figured them, but that's not exactly what happened. When I woke, Buffy was gone and it was at least three hours later. She got a real lucky shot! My head was killin' me, with the _sorry_still floating in my mind and with the lack of the slayer-tingles; I knew B was sorta AWOL. I didn't really know what to do, G was with Ken and one of the teams somewhere in Russia and X was no good for the big conversations about B, it always ended in fart jokes… Red was the best option, the only option really. The muffled shouts were enough for me to believe Buffy had run into Red on her way outta the castle. Once I broke down the door to Red's room –it was jammed up with a chair, how B got out I've no clue and fucked my shoulder up, I found Hood. She was wearing this bright-ass Red hoodie, with the hood cinched shut over her face and knotted behind; her arms were bound to her bedposts with rope. Buffy was … very determined. It was kinda funny; one of the most powerful witches of her age was defeated by the hood of a hoodie. She was pretty upset; apparently she was stuck there for more than the three hours I thought had gone by. She said it was closer to twelve. I'm thinkin' I got drugged, so along with a real lucky shot and the fact I was dead tired, it's understandable that I was out for twelve hours. I don't feel so bad about me now. Willow on the other hand, was an emotional wreck. She cried in my arms for a while after a bathroom break. I may not be even close to a 'best friend' but, we are friends now. See? Maybe not so funny…

What the fuck am I talking about? Hood doesn't know shit about what I think about, or who. She thinks I'm all pretty pictures and no substance… ah whatever, that's safe I guess. Can't have her drawing too many conclusions, she'd get all paranoid. I pull myself from the car, and stretch. My hand subconsciously makes it way to my stomach and runs over the jagged scar.

"_What's the matter? All that killing, you afraid to die?"_ My eyes flutter shut and memories come flooding back.

--

I could feel every single punch she landed on my body, my wrist still burned from the handcuff; I couldn't believe she was beating me. Me! Duck, duck, goose? Jab! Right hook. Ow... Ok, fuck, that hurt.

"What's the matter? All that killing, you afraid to die?" _Fuck no B, just afraid for you... _Can't show it though, goodbye handcuff hello dodge. _What you have there B?_

"That's mine." My eyes grow dark and wide, my knife, my knife. Not hers... she can't have everything. _Why do you get everything, B?_

"You're about to get it back." Jesus B, I believe it. You pull evil real well. Guess I was a bad influence, rubbed you the wrong way.

_But I can't let you win B. Sorry, that's not how this story will end. _"Man, I'm gonna miss this..." I spent too much time thinking, I never saw the sudden movement in your arm and maybe I did, but I definitely saw the glint of the light off the metal of my blade. My blade! Not yours! My blade! That is...

--

The ground was wet and cold. Wait, the cold? Ugh, what's wrong with me? The wet? Still not right. _Come on. _Why is my head spinning...? There's that noise again, what is it... "_Faith...?"_ It's so loud... distorted... the ground...?

I fill my lungs with a loud raspy breath, one that does not come as easy as it should, and swear to no one in particular. "Fuckin' hell in a can..." I feel a hand on my shoulder and some panicky breath near my face.

"Faith?" That is a voice I recognize. _Who are you? __What do you need, I'm a bit -- __what the hell. Oh pass, fuckin' out._


	6. Water

**Disclaimer:** Even though I seriously doubt that people are still reading this story, I'll continue to update... for no reason in particular. I'm just bored. Beware inconsistencies as they are my own, all else belongs to the rightful owner.

Water

The tree had not been paying attention, which was peculiar for a tree, since they really had nothing to think about, and only noticed the other being when it touched its skin. This being was not one the tree recognized, and there were never any new visitors. Just old ones, who came to see the stones, but they had quit coming a few years back, and then there was the _dark one_ but that one wouldn't be back soon. No, this being was new.

As the new being touched the tree it noticed a familiar pain, the same pain that filled the _dark one._ Ever since the tree had encountered the _dark one_ it had not known this sort of agony, despair. The tree had known of sadness, but it was never this powerful. These beings had a strange effect on the nature around them, but they did not know that. These creatures had very little understanding of the natural world around them; they were very blind.

The being traced the symbols that the _dark one_ had set in it, and the despair and pain vanished. It all had vanished, and the tree was left even more confused, something could not just disappear. Nothing had the power to make the pain go away. Nothing! The tree needed the sun, the rain and time to heal its wounds but this being, this _light one_ had done it with its touch. The _dark one_ had brought pain and despair, but the _light one_ had taken it all away with one touch. The _light one's_ hand left the tree and it all came rushing back: pain and despair. It was nothing but a cruel trick, a fake.

The tree had never seen this done so expertly before. The being had complete control of itself, everything was as it should be: feelings placed, emotions settled. It was orderly. The tree was too preoccupied with the awe it was feeling about this being, that it did not pay any attention to the knife that carved more symbols in its skin. That did not matter as much as the order, the perfection that was before it.

The _light one_ walked away and the tree promptly forgot what order was, what perfection was. All that was left was pain and despair, and a little bit of happiness that was still left from the visit of the _dark one_.


	7. Glass Jaw

**Disclaimer:**The people who will read this may have noticed that I update every so often, two chapters at a time... that will not always be the case. Actually, it probably will not happen again for a while. Work, and, well, laziness play a great factor in that. Not that you, the reader, cares. Beware of bad spelling, grammar and tenses! Flame on. Heh. I own... absolutely nothing. This is definitely not for profit and I haven't considered quitting my day job. Oh, and "Glass Jaw" is by Systematic (I'm sure they own the title and what not...) incase anyone is curious.

Glass Jaw

"Giles, w-what happened?" A stammer: Hood. _You haven't done that in a while…_ I can hear, but moving is a bit more … challenging.

"She got out of the car. I had just offered her some Advil, she was in a pain: a headache…" _Tylenol G. _Okay, the Tylenol I remembered… and something soft against my skin, a pillow? Is that the right word? Yeah… it smelled starchy. '_Faith! You set that down afore you burn yourself! Irons are not for pillows!' _Mom? Pillows aren't starchy… sheets are. The smell is from the sheets, I must be in the infirmary. I can't be in my room, in my own bed; I picked up some nice silk sheets. If I have to live in a hole –my own choice- I was damn well going to sleep on something nice.

"She fell to the ground, and when I couldn't rouse her, I carried her here." _That's awesome, thanks for not leaving me on the wet ground._ Giles sounded anxious… sad perhaps. _No fuckin' way is he upset over me. There's no problem with me, I just remembered being gutted, fucked me up a bit, that's all. No biggie._ No biggie indeed, I meant it though, being gutted –like a fish- really puts a damper on anything in your life. Not that I had much of a life going but it was something, good or bad. That's not the point; the point is … why the fuck can't I open my eyes and see who's holdin' onto my hand.

"What in fucks name happened…?" I guess all I needed was a little persuasion, lucky me, I know just how I work. I'm slurring a little bit but I can deal with that. Oh fuck me; I better not have had a stroke.

"Faith, oh, it's great that you're talking. What happened?" _Not even thirty seconds after I say something, you've already assumed I did something!_

"That's not what he meant Faith," _Willow, Red, Hood… you can read me._ "It's just that you don't normally pass out… I can't remember the last time… well, yes I guess I can. B-Buffy decked you pretty decently but since then I don't think you've passed out, unless you were drunk- ow, hey! Oh…" I squeezed the hand that was on mine fairly hard in hopes that it was hers, guess I was right. I did not need her ratting me out to Giles that I liked to get totally shit-faced more often than he thinks.

"No clue what happened." I open my eyes, slowly, they feel weighted down. My whole body feels weighted down. It feels like something has a hold of me and doesn't want to let go. "There's something not right here guys…"

"Yes Faith, quite right. What do you remember?" He's fiddling with his glasses as he speaks to me; I wish he'd stop that, his poker face sucks enough. _Always know when there's bad news with you, G._

I pull myself to a seated position; I had guessed right, score. The infirmary was as nice as they got in old castles: huge and echoic. _Word a day_. Stainless steel, grey stone and white sheets was the colour scheme; thankfully the blood that was shed hadn't stained the floor.

"You offered me some Tylenol G," Hood smirked a bit. "After I got out of the car, I stretched. My hand wandered a little bit, found some bad memories I guess. They all came rushin' back. Guess I couldn't handle it. Looks like I'm just a big sissy sitting in a hospital bed, get Andy, he can take some pictures. You guys can scrapbook it." _'Sarcasm, works in every situation Faithy, but not always how you want it too…'_

"Faith…" Red had been all sensitive 'best-friendy' towards me since B left, since that night I died, really. I know it's just her being nice, trying to get past the whole 'tried-to-kill-me' thing; she's doing a good job. I don't see how B could handle it, friends are nice, but not exactly something I know a lot about.

"Want to talk about it? Talk about the memories that came back to you? Was it a vision?" I sighed, if there ever was a time I wanted to talk about that night, it wasn't then and it wasn't with her.

"I can't really remember specifics Hood," A big glare! Ha! '_Pissin' off people is a damn good way of getting' your ass kicked. Now fuck off Firecracker, mommy is busy.' _Mom and her endless amount of advice. _Why now ma, why do I have to remember you now!_ "It felt like I was there again, that's all. Too much to handle I suppose, don't read into it too much. What we should be worried about is the fact that I'm remembering my mother's advice." _A joke guys, it just slipped out, it was a joke! Come on! _

When you mean something as a joke you always hope that's how it's taken. You never want that awkward silence, the same one that I got after I opened my big mouth. It was long and awkward, like they were contemplating how to secure me in case I go nuts again and try to take 'em all out while they sleep. I can't help but think that, that's all I know. All bad and no good, I should have tee-shirts made up. _Things were supposed to get better! You guys promised things would change… that things would be different._

Her arms were a strong surprise around my body, the air around me seemed to grow cold… no, I guess it was just me. Goosebumps shot up my arms and down my back, Hood, Willow was hugging me; a big hug, a small sniff. I had worried her in a different way.

"What'd your mom tell you Faith, what advice did she give you?" She's sincere, she lies worth shit anyways.

"Doesn't matter, it's all bullshit anyways." _'You lying little bitch!' _No wince, I don't want to lie to her, it just comes out: lies and filth. _That's not true, I know I've changed. _"Mom never gave me anything worth keepin', 'cept my good looks." I smile and push her back, my strength was returning and my eyes would focus when I looked around. Only then did I notice Giles in deep thought. I didn't really want to know what he was thinking about, but I just had to ask anyways.

"G. Giles, man, what's up?"

"I believe that Buffy might have… er, come back."

The goose bumps returned.

"What d'you say, G? No way…" The nagging feeling that was suggesting he was right wouldn't go away. I closed my eyes and tried to focus the two other slayer souls mingling with my own, nothing. No trace of Buffy, sure she could have picked up a spell to mask her presence, but I wasn't a normal slayer. She would have had to use a powerful spell. "I can't _feel_ her Giles. Slayer connection, it's pretty damn strong between us, even when we're at each others throats."

"Is it that far of a stretch Faith? You two didn't end things on a very positive note and due to that … and the strange happenings of our universe, these problems you are experiencing could be due to her… I could be mistaken of course, but do remember that she is bound to return eventually."

"Yeah and things'll go back to the way it was right?!" I get off the bed and sway a little as I stand on my feet. _Still a little weak, better keep that in mind._ I start again. "She comes back, things go to shit. She isn't back. No, no, keep your hands off me. I'm alright, well as alright as I can be with this shit going on. First the girls, now you guys?" My mind was going a mile a minute, and I couldn't stop it, the dizziness returned. They had removed their hands from my arms, taken a couple steps back; I wasn't able to register the looks on their faces.

"Yes Faith, you know all about betrayal." Her voice fills my mind. "There is nothing else in your heart, how dare you say otherwise. You. Mean. Nothing. To. Me. Nothing!" The pain was sharp in my side; I tried to hide the discomfort on my face. "You just can't do anything right! Oh don't give me that look, don't act all confused. This is your fault." Her breath was hot on my face; her vanilla shampoo filled my nose, her small powerful hands firmly wrapped around my throat. _Where'd you come from B? Why couldn't I tell you were here… are you even here? Funny, I don't remember getting knocked down. _She was straddling my body, and choking the life from me. _Come on Giles, Hood, save me? _My hands couldn't seem to find hers.


	8. Closing Time

**Disclaimer:** I guess for legal purposes... I own nothing of the characters, back-story, locations, and whatnot... those belong to people more wonderful than ... sliced bread.

**Note:** Oh, look something new and exciting! A slow update due to a small injury. Hopefully the small number of people that read this have noticed a few things... but no matter. Read, and review if you so choose. I really don't care. Oh, and forgive me for my terrible use of tenses, and all the inconsistencies. "Closing Time" - Leonard Cohen, him and or his producers own all to do with that song, I think.

Closing Time

The strength of her grip on my throat didn't stop, but it didn't increase either. The breath wasn't coming to me, but my hands did find the ones wrapped around my neck. I was scared to open my eyes and stare into hers, yeah it's Buffy. As soon as she touched me, I felt the connection, felt the sparks. I didn't really want to see the hate in her eyes.

"Faith! Hold on!" _Hood._ "Jesus, she sure has a strong grip… should have left Giles alone… just… one… more… second." Hood must have taken a running start 'cause B sure had a good hold. I took a deep scratchy breath and coughed a few times, being chocked fuckin' sucks. I cast a glance at Giles who's in mid-stride towards B; he must have been totally shocked: he dropped his glasses. Hood must've followed my gaze. "I should probably set those aside." She plucked the glasses from the air. "He'd be angry if they broke…"

"Willow." I swallowed sorely, my voice was shaky. "What'd you do?" She giggled a little bit.

"I've been working on some advance techniques: teleportation and freezing. It was Giles' idea; teleportation was turning out tricky so I started working on freezing. It's pretty nifty, I started stopping water and then- oh, can you breathe okay?" I nodded, still trying to understand what Hood was talking about. "Right, Buffy's back obviously… and not happy to see you. Let's let her take her anger out on this pillow, okay? Stand back… you maybe want to leave? Go hide? Ah right, you don't hide…" There was s small blush from her and a smile from me. I was ready now; if Buffy wanted a fight she wouldn't catch me off guard. Hood put a pillow in her grasp, I kinda wanted to use a bedpan but that might have been deemed 'mean'.

"Alright Faith… take a deep breath." She smiled nervously; I could feel the bruises around my neck forming. They would look bad, terrible, for a day or two. I lost my smile as Hood started a chant.

"Buffy!" Giles yelled. Buffy turned a deep shade of red as she released the pillow and turned on me. She started her approach, I noticed Hood had frozen, literally, she wasn't moving. I grabbed her arm; the expression on Buffy's face went from hatred to stone-cold-horror. I checked my facial expression, I wasn't scowling or snarling. I wanted Hood out of harms way, I wasn't going to hurt her, and I wasn't going to use her as a hostage either.

"Hood, get out of here…" I whispered and she moved immediately to the left. Giles had stopped, a look of utter confusion played across his face, it almost looks like he was going to say something but the words wouldn't come. Hood was at his side in a second, and B's 'I-hate-you' look was back.

"Buffy," I start as sincerely as I can; I notice the distance between us is closing slowly. "Welcome back." Not the words she was looking for.

"Shut up Faith. Move an inch and I'll kill you." She was dead serous, her voice dripped with hate, could almost see it forming a puddle on the floor. I smiled a little and muttered an 'I don't think so'. She ignored that and spoke at Giles all without taking her eyes off mine.

"Giles, you were going to protect her?" She sounded surprised and hurt but surprisingly upbeat, some arrogance snuck through.

"You left Buffy, and I left you a long before. I don't just stand by you anymore." Giles continued explaining himself, _no need G, she don't deserve an explanation._I however, tried to block him out, watch my guard and examine B's new tan. She looked amazing, her hair was lighter, her tan was darker, and she was most definitely stronger. I let my eyes wander a little lower than her neck line; I allowed a small smile to creep to my face. She was wearing my leather jacket. "Faith has proven herself more than enough-" I heard my name and my eyes snapped back to hers, her glare hadn't softened but I did notice a small blush creeping across her nose, she had caught me looking.

"-you have no right to be angry!" Giles was getting angry, and Hood was getting nervous.

"I don't buy it Giles, and you won't trust her after I get to talk. Faith is using you, manipulating you! If I can see this, and you can't, then something is really wrong." She sounded like a pleading school girl, _'no ma'am I didn't take that cookie' _while her body language was more like mine _'touch my cookie and lose an arm'_.

"Buffy, come on-"

"This doesn't concern you Will, I think you showed who you are loyal to with that little trick." B's eyes never left mine as she reamed on Hood, which made me pretty damn angry. I clenched my fists and let the playful smile take a darker turn. "Take it back B, or I'll make you." I hissed I figured a lower voice would be more menacing: she just laughed.

"Look who decided to show up," She smiled broadly. "I missed this Faith, us, fighting. See guys, the evil is right at the surface, she threatened me." My jaw dropped a little, she couldn't be serious, and she was the one provoking me, tearing into every friend she had left behind.

"What are you trying to accomplish, B?"

"That's a big word _F; _you get yourself a brain while I was gone?" I summoned what little self-control I had, _keep going B and you'll get a taste._ "Let's see here, brain, check, heart, check. Or at least you said you had a heart… provided you weren't lying in the last conversation." She tilted her head, a playfully sly smile across her face; one I was just dying to remove. "All you need is a soul and you should be almost human."

I had visibly paled, the look on Hood's face showed that. Giles just stood there, what was he going to do; there wasn't anything for them to do. Maybe there was, my eyes drifted downwards, Hood was fiddling with her phone: texting Ken, or maybe X.

"B, what's going on?" The words appeared lost on her, what was I going to say. _Nothing's changed B; the ones loyal to you are still loyal to you. All I wanted to do was to prove myself to you. Both a bit day-time soapish_. My fists relaxed and I made the attempt to cross my arms, and what I thought was a slow movement turned out to be a little twitchy. She threw the first punch, I swear. It caught me off my left cheek. I'd let my guard down again, fuck. I stumbled and she caught my knee with a well timed stomp, hurt like a motherfucker. Willow screamed something that sounded like 'Kahn!' which made no sense. I heard some other voices, lots of names. Her boot –yeah, boot- connected with my shoulder, another stomp. Her fighting style had changed.

"Buffy! Get off her!" It was Ken. _Thank you, Hood._

"Kennedy! Get off of Buffy!" There were a couple girls screaming that, obviously there were quite a few people who wanted to see this fight.

I stood up, a little woozy, my eyes almost focused. There were maybe ten slayers who definitely did not like me, and maybe two that I could trust to follow my lead. Kennedy had pushed Buffy five feet from where I was standing and was holding onto her for dear life. The noise in the room was immense; Xander was standing off to the side looking completely confused. _Don't worry X, that's the theme: confusion._ Giles and Hood were trying to explain to the girls that attacking Kennedy was not a good thing to do. That seemed to be working until B got a few words out.

"Get Faith!" Her voice wasn't filled with panic, and it definitely didn't seem thoughtless. I could probably take five of the girls before I became overwhelmed. They would probably kill me, and Buffy would never have to touch me. The ten girls rushed me; eight months didn't change a thing. When Buffy said charge, that's what they did. Don't get me wrong, she was a great leader, kinda blind to most situations though. You couldn't always charge first, ask later. We kinda switched tactics; it's really hard to explain. I turned into the thoughtful strategist, double and triple checking every time. Buffy however, decided that charging into the situation worked just fine. In the first two months there was only one 'big-bad' that we had to stop (which caused an argument, nothing serious). I had presented a nice little plan: scope the place out, set an attack plan out, went all the way to D just in case, had the escape routes and everything. I was only second in command you know, so B had to clear it. She didn't, we went in full force, no one died, and we did stop that ancient ritual. Some of the slayers were in the infirmary for a while though, that was it. Buffy apologized after we got back, said she should have trusted me. I let it go. Things were great after that… until that _other _night.

"Get Faith!" That rung out strong over the other voices. The ten loyal to B charged me, Willow and Giles ended up on the floor. I swung into defence mode, knowing full well in my state, 'super-slayer' or no; ten angry-B-loyal-slayers were going to have their way with me. I gritted my teeth and felt the extra power in my limbs. My eyes dropped a shade deeper. They all hit me at once, I managed to dodge a couple and drop a few more. Only six to deal with. I heard a loud shout but it didn't really register. Hopefully Ken didn't let B go.

I then notice that no one is moving, and Kennedy is talking loudly.

"What the fuck is this? Faith!" Kennedy wasn't confused but rather more distressed. "I'll get you out, hold on." I started pushing slayers away trying to remove myself from harms way.

"Hood, you alright?" I ask loudly. "Was that a good idea?"

"I'll be alright in a moment… didn't think I could freeze everyone… wow…" She was out of breath, and giggling a little bit. Ken helped to pull me to my feet and looks me in the eye. "What's with …?"

"Long story, don't ask."

"-the eyes…" She finished but I ignored that.

"Why did you bring them Ken? You know better than that."

"Sorry man, I just muttered 'Buffy'. It was shocking! She's been gone eight months, real sorry Faith." I nod and run a hand through my hair; this is one giant fuckin' mess.

"Hood, what am I gonna do?" I sound hopeless, I think the situation is this: the girls'll keep comin' at me 'cause B said 'get 'er' and Hood can't keep freezin' them. _Fuck, the plans are not coming easily._

"Ties their shoe laces together..." Ken muttered. "What, hey… it worked in school." She rolled her eyes and looked away.

"Unfreeze Giles. You can do that, right Hood?" She sighed.

"Yes, I can do that. And for the record, I liked _Red_ more than I like _Hood._" I smiled and Giles let out a curse.

"Bloody fuckin' hell." There's a long pause. "Oh, er, pardon me. Willow, can you handle this?"

"Yeah Giles, I should be fine. You all should be fine… but, Faith however, might be in a little but of trouble."

"Clearly. This is not quite the reunion I had in mind. I thought there would just be an awkward silence… not, bloodshed."

"I kinda saw this happening G, no biggie." I shrugged. "Just gotta figure a way for me not to die today."

"Indeed." We stood in silence for a moment, after the moment, I spoke first. The only thing going through my head was B, I'd let her down so many times in the past, I'd try to do better then the same shit would happen. I always fucked up. I scanned the group, B stood off to the side: arms crossed, head down, hair obscuring her eyes. She wasn't looking at where I was, she wasn't looking at anything but the ground. This wasn't how it was supposed to go down, plotting against her. I should have been working with her! _Sorry B._

"B always has a reason for doing the shit she does, it may not be a good reason, but I'm sure she has one this time. Maybe we should hear it. Hood, how long can you … keep the girls frozen?"

"Uh, not much longer… maybe fifteen minutes…" She looked hesitant; Ken draped her arm over her.

"Ken, you stay here with her, Giles you and me will head to the library. Will," I try to let the glare fade, try to calm the restless souls, try not to freak Hood out when I look at her. "Try to calm B down, and then you two can escort her to the library, alone, preferably."

She nodded, the plan was shit, but I doubted I could have come up with anything else. Giles and I left for the library, we only had to wait there ten minutes before Hood, Ken and B walked through the doors.


	9. Disarm

**Disclaimer: **Who owns 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and all the baggage that goes with it? Not me! Who makes a profit from this silly piece of work? Definitely not me! and definitely not this site. The song is "Disarm" by The Smashing Pumpkins... I just use the title so... hopefully saying I don't own it and the band does, works...

**Notes:**Alright, a quick update then nothing for a few days (you are warned) I have to get everything sorted out and the in the right order... it gets a little confusing after this, but I am pretty damn sure I got it right (it just needs some tweaking). Hey look! One consistent reviewer and a new one, that's awesome, thanks for the kind words. It actually means quite a lot. Hopefully this chapter is up to par.

Disarm

I was lounged in one of the reading chairs; the library was a very calming place: old soft leather chairs, and books that stretched to the ceiling. Some of the girls compared it to the Beasts' library from some Disney movie; I didn't know what they were talking about. It wasn't a well lit place, but it wasn't too dark, Giles loved it.

No one ever said trying to 'build bridges' was easy; it's supposedly easier when you are sober, and that's not often for me, yah know. Drinkin' runs in my blood, least I steered away from drugs, get a better high from dustin' vamps. Best high of all? Bein' near B, man o' man that is some wicked powerful shit. At least it used to be, static cling or somethin', felt her energy right thought me, weird shit. Now it felt different, it wasn't happy-we-just-escaped-with-our-lives sorta energy; it was blink-wrong-and-you-die energy. She could only kill me if I let her, one good secret, can't believe she didn't find out.

I caught a little of what B was going on about, she never really did get a chance to spill her news, but what I caught I didn't like. I told them I wouldn't run... but that looked like it could change. Certain aspects of my life changed a little bit, and that caused me to grow up, _somewhat._ I realized there was more to life than hating everything good and loving everything bad. I learned that when I died.

So here we were, at each others throats again. _Just after…_ and trust me, this is not a feeling I missed. Before she wouldn't take her eyes from mine, now she won't even look my way, I don't exist now. _'Learn to disappear kid, it makes everything more bearable. Now fuck off.'_ All her attention is focused at Giles, who doesn't look pleased at all.

"Giles, she leaves or I make her leave. Simple." She wasn't shouting anymore which was good, but she was eerily calm, which was maybe not so good. I never could tell with B, sometimes calm means calm, and sometimes it doesn't. _When do I get my jacket back?_ Not the smartest thing to be thinking about, but I had been wondering where it had run off too. _My favourite…_

"No one will be leaving. Faith has proven herself, she isn't _evil_." He chose his words well, I couldn't tell if he was complimenting me or cuttin' me down. I don't _try_ to be evil; sometimes it slips out a bit. B was still his slayer, still the one slayer he could count on, even after all the shit she's pulled. Fair? Probably not, but it doesn't bother me much anymore, I'm not the leading type at least outside the bedroom. _Why'd you take my jacket, B?_

"_No good will come from keeping Faith_, that's what the prophecy said! That's what the shaman told me." I tossed a confused glance to Hood, _denied_, her eyes were trained on the floor.

"Where is the rest of it Buffy? I'm sorry, but that is the _shortest_ prophecy I have ever heard. Who is involved, and what is their goal?" I would have laughed if the situation was a little better. She couldn't be serious, a one line prophecy and I was supposed to high-tail it outta here? No thanks, I need some proof before I can my progress.

"Here." She pulled a very small book from the hidden pocket in _my_ leather jacket. "I can't read it, the shaman translated." She was speaking very slowly and very calmly, like she had expected this. _Of course, you always have proof…_ I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat and tried damn hard to keep the fear off my face. Giles had taken the book.

"The dialect is… one I don't recognize. Willow?" The sound of his confused voice was something you never wanted to hear, _you aren't supposed to take her side G._

"G, Giles, come on, tell B-" _Tell her what?_ Buffy stopped me before I could say anything stupid.

"Fuck off Faith!"

'_Always up to no good!'_

'_Look at this goddamn mess!'_

'_Fuck off Faith!'_

'_Get out! Out!'_

'_Trust no one little firecracker; we all leave you in the end.'_

'_Fuck off Faith!'_

'_Take it and run with it kid.'_

'_Don't open your eyes.'_

'_FUCK off Faith!'_

I stood up so quick the chair I was still lounging in rocked backwards and landed hard on the floor. The thud silenced the room, and the voice in my head. Even after all this time away from her, she could still get to me; I thought I was getting over it. I swore no one would ever get to me the way she does, it's like a goddamn drug. I was clean, got clean when she left. Guess that was a lie too, I guess you never really get over Buffy Summers.

My heart was pounding, my hands clenched tightly at my sides, I was shaking. The book was still in Giles' hand: he looked confused. B's arms were folded across her chest: looking pleased. Hood just stood there. It wasn't entirely fair, Giles had just told me that I had people that would stand by me, sure they saved me from death but this is much worse. Her eyes aren't soft, they are cutting me up. I suck up a breath and curl my lips into a sneer.

"Look B, if you want me gone, fine!" _Looks like I'm quitting. _"I'm fuckin' gone." The last word sounds hopeless beyond my control, I tried to get as much force behind the words as I could, wanted them to see I was serious, wanted them to see she was telling the truth. _Please… Please… _"It's all been a lie, just waiting for the right second, damn good thing B showed up to stop me."_ Don't listen…_ The sneer has turned into a large smile; I probably look insane. The bruises around my neck only add to the illusion. "I was going to string you up in your sleep Hood, slit your throat as Ken dies before your eyes." I ran my finger across my throat. _What's wrong with me…? 'Lie kiddo, just lie. Get's you outta lots of trouble. Trust me.'_

"G, you would have taken a trip off the roof. Had you all fooled, I'm fuckin' bad. Bad to the fuckin' bone!" Horror flashes across their faces, B is fuming, using all her power to stop me from sayin' 'nother word. _Good thing I'm almost done._ Hood is pale, and Giles looks defeated. They think I was telling the truth, they actually believe me.

"See guys," My voice is much softer now, my posture is slumped, after I had put all my energy into those goddamned lies. "Time doesn't change shit. You still trust me as much as you did back when we first met… I'm outta here… you guys never gotta worry 'bout seein' me 'gain..." My voice is gone, the strength I once spoke with was gone, and the power I had easily held was gone. The slayers inside me had nothing to say in this situation either.

"B…" What was left to say to her? _Nothing._ I turned around and left the library, half expecting to get an axe to the back and not expecting anyone to say anything. Silence hurts more then a blade ever will.


	10. Bad Company

**Disclaimer: **Again, I own nothing. The nothings I especially do not own are ... any and all references to the characters and universes of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'. The aforementioned is owned by someone way more powerful and respected than myself. 'Bad Company' owns the song title... I think.

**Note(s): **

Alright, lets see. A few things... things will be getting, confusing, to say the least from now on. I've done my best to make it not confusing, but I think I failed there, you'll see. It took me ... a few minutes to make all the time things work, flashbacks... dreams... and the like. That doesn't really take place now, but it will in future chapters... starting around Ch. 13, I think. If you oh so dedicated readers will allow me time to get there. Secondly, I'll probably end up posting little ... hints... more like explanations about the ... well you'll see. Hopefully my style has improved. Thirdly, forgive the bad grammar, spelling and tenses... and lastly, a big thanks to those people who continue to read and have gotten past my horrible beginning. The rest of the story should be better... and there is more (I hope). Thanks!

Bad Company

My room was dark and damp, I had little trouble getting there, and the halls were empty. Words travelled long and fast throughout the castle, I'm sure everyone heard what I had to say. I had a duffel bag packed and ready for a situation like this, I was always prepared. Just had the basics in the bag, I'd only need to grab my not-so-perfect leather jacket and the combat knife Angel gave me. It's pretty sweet, seven inch carbon steel blade, gets the job done. Not as flashy as my old knife and since I'm not the greatest with a broadsword, it works just fine.

The bag was in the closet, so was my jacket, my knife was under the pillow. Giles had said it wasn't that great an idea if I wore it around while I was in the castle. I listened, never regretted it either. My full attention was on getting the fuck out of the castle unharmed, my senses were all over the place, couldn't pinpoint anyone, or feel anyone but B. Ken snuck up on me, scared me half to death.

"So you're fuckin' off then. Pussy." I flinched harshly, I was glad it was only Kennedy otherwise the flinch would have been my last action on this cold, green world.

"You don't get it." _Let it go._

"Don't get what? That you're a pussy? Old Faith would never let Buffy get to her this way, she'd fight. She'd at least stick up for herself! Shit! You let them walk all over you, you call yourself a Slayer? You're nothing." I couldn't tell how serious she was being, I hoped she was just trying to enrage me enough to see I was worth it, see I was more but I doubted it.

"I am nothing, and this nothing is taking all her 'nothings' and leaving." She sighed, obviously I sounded more pathetic than I hoped.

"Faith, don't leave. We need you here, like it or not you are a great teacher. You are a great slayer." _Total one-eighty, way to go Ken._ "You think no one wants you here, but that's not true, the people that _matter_ want you here."

"Buffy matters Ken, and if she says I'm no good then she's right, I'm no good. Didn't you hear? I'm going to kill you." I throw the pillows off my bed and stick my knife in my boot. _One down, two to go._

"Yeah bullshit, Will would have you inside out two seconds before you even thought of killing me. Don't doubt it." She laughed, it was probably true. "Will's trying to calm Buffy down, at least that's what it sounded like, and there was a lot of shouting when Giles and I left them in the library. He's looking for you; he went to check surveillance whereas I knew exactly where you'd be. Here. Leaving, like a pussy."

"He'll see me leaving then, can find me that way. The longer I stay, the harder it'll be for me to leave alive. Look, you are tryin' to help, but it won't do any good. Go, before I hurt you." I really didn't want to hurt her, I thought I had gotten past all that shit but it all came back, like a giant tidal wave. B had set it off, now Ken was going to pay for it, wasn't fair, just hoped she'd leave before big bad Faith stopped by.

"I really would rather not, come on boss, fight the good fight. Stick up for yourself!" I grabbed the small duffel from my closet and my jacket from the hanger. There would be no fighting, yet at least, there would be no good fight, and there would be no forgiving, for anyone. _I hope B can forgive you all._ I stared at Ken, who stood unwavering. I could hear shouting from the library, I'm sure Ken could as well.

"You better go rescue Hood, I'm sure B is getting close to usin' her new moves." _Liar._ There was really no way B would hurt Hood, physically. Emotionally? Sure she did that to us all.

Ken crossed her arms and sighed. "At least talk to Giles, I should go make sure Willow doesn't turn Buffy into a frog… horny toad, something." She moved to the side. "See you soon Faith?" I walked past her, what response could I give her. Yeah, I'll be back soon. There was no truth to that. I was leaving, and wasn't coming back for a long time, how right was I?

My boots made hollow echoes down the long stretch of hallways, I was taking the road less travelled to get out of the castle, less security cams and less people, no one took this path, no one really knew about it. I'd end up at the rear of the castle, would walk right out of the old storm drain, facing south. I'd walk a little way then slowly turn around to the north, north seemed like an okay way to go. As the floor turned to soggy dirt my boots made squishing noises, soon there was more water, and then light. The smell was definitely something else, rotting leaves mixed with grass clippings; it was something I was sure I wouldn't miss.

"Faith," He started slowly -he was waiting. My escape plan was either really shitty or totally obvious. Why wouldn't I escape thought the storm drain, who else would do that? "Where do you plan on running too?" He was emotionless.

"I ain't runnin' G. Don'tcha remember? Got kicked out." _I said I wouldn't run_. I was angry, he was there he saw what happened, and he damn well heard it all.

"It'll take some time to work out this prophecy, the dialect is…"

"I get it man, knew this'd happen eventually. B is always right."

"Faith, you aren't evil, I do believe you wouldn't turn on us. What you said before-"

"I said what I said to prove a point; it's hard to take the word of a murderer." _I'm not. _"I get it, and I'm gone." I started to walk past him, what more was I going to do. If he tried to stop me, I'd probably hurt him. If he kept talking, I'd probably just keep walking. My options were shit, both bad… one worse than the other.

"Where do you plan on going?"

"Don't know." _Don't care._

"I have a friend up north; it's a half-day's drive from Inverness. I never thought to ask the name of the town... She should be fairly easy to get a hold of; I'll send a letter this afternoon."

"You can't call her?" _Why am I listening to this shit… it's probably a trap._

"I cannot, nor would I if I could. Faith, you have to find your own way. Your own path, you won't learn anything if I take you. Besides, if I left with you I would not return, and something tells me I will be needed here." A little emotion creeps through his resolve but I still can't turn and look at him.

"What's his name? He's not an old friend from your Ripper days huh?"

"_Her _name is Temperance, Temperance Kane. She was studying to become a Watcher, but it didn't take…"

"Fuck, she better not be some old stuffy British hag with a stick so far up her ass it's playin' hockey with her tonsils…" I smirked, that one was forced but shit, and I really wasn't ready to deal with the female version of Wes.

"Spare me the mental image, you two should fair well together. That is, if you have chosen to go?" He raised his voice, as if hopeful.

"Send the letter, but… don't tell her to expect me soon. That's a long walk, and I might change my mind…I might be lying too." _Bad idea._

"Yes, yes, of course. Faith…"

"Don't say anything else to me, or tell anyone where I am going or not going... When you decipher the prophecy, if it turns out that B is right… have Hood –Willow, practice some, I dunno, 'one-hit-kill' spells… I'll probably be hard to take out. Later, G." I mumbled and kept on walking, the water was getting colder and deeper. The sky was a dull grey, clouds were looming: looked like rain. _Temperance Kane._The name rung true in my mind, there would be no promises that I would make it to Inverness, that's a long walk.

"Faith! Wait!" The splash of his shoes in the puddle irked me a little, I told him not to say anything else. "Look, here's a tip. Go to Glasgow, or Perth. From there it's a, as they say, cake walk. A little help, a little guidance, it's late I know." His shoes made a squelching noise as he walked back through the storm drain, finally I was alone. I closed my eyes and tried to listen, but the stone of the castle proved to be a formidable foe, I couldn't hear if Hood and B were still at each others throats, maybe Ken had calmed them down. Maybe they had taken a potty break, maybe I just didn't try hard enough. I continued my walk; I needed to make a stop before I went into the wilderness to decide my fate.


	11. Pedunculate

**Dislcaimer: **Not much to own here... but I don't own any of it.

**Note:** Just a quick chapter... that's why you get another.

Pedunculate

The _dark one_ had returned earlier than expected, it hadn't even been gone one full day; this did not sit very well with the tree. When the birds lodged on its branches, they would disappear and reappear quite regularly, this was normal for a bird, it increased in frequency when the small birds arrived. All of the normal actions seemed to have purpose, the _dark one _however, seemed to not have a purpose. This was unsettling, how could a being not have a purpose when every creature has one? The tree did not know its purpose but the others have all said the purpose fits well with it, another unspoken rule among trees: they were never allowed to know their purpose. If they did find out their purpose, their life was over, all that would remain was the shell.

Thus the tree thought very little about its own purpose and instead thought about every other creature purpose. The _dark one_ was leaning over the symbols it had left and the tree could feel all its pain, all its sorrow. There was far too much of both, far too much for any one being. Water began to fall from the _dark ones _eyes; it had begun tracing the other symbols. With every droplet that fell the tree could feel the disgust flood though the connection, there was something very troubling occurring.

The tree had waited almost five decades for the moment of clarity, the moment when it found its purpose. It had always assumed that it was just here to serve as a home to the creatures, to provide shelter; it never thought it would do anything different, but when the _dark one _sank closer to the ground and pulled a gleaming object from no where, it realized its purpose. It was to hold a message for all to see, the actions of the _dark one_ had finally made sense. When the _dark one_ had placed the blade to its skin and carved the symbols into the trees skin it was marking its place in life, creating a moment where it mattered. The _light one_ had done the same thing, however it was for a different reason.

The actions that the beings had preformed decades ago finally made sense, love was forged and broken in the presence of the tree, it was the watcher of good things and of bad, it alone would carry the messages for others to see. When the _light one_ had pressed its blade and carved its symbols beneath the _dark ones_ it created a bond that could not be broken by any means. The _dark one_ left one final symbol on the tree, the connection was complete, the bond secure. It had all fallen into place exactly as the Universe had predicted billions of years ago, everything was going to plan. The _dark one _and the _light one_ were never meant to coexist peacefully, the universe always found a way for that to happen. The tree disliked this particular branch of the _plan_ but had no right to argue, it said a peaceful goodbye to the rose bush at the end of its roots, and another goodbye to the boring trees surrounding the stones.

--

The tears fell freely as I noticed the fresh carve marks beneath my initials, B.S. _Bull shit_, that's what it was, utter bullshit, she wrote her name beneath mine? What kinda meaning was that…? _Can she… love me? Fuck no! Foolish fuckin' Faith._ The connection I shared with B was something I had never experience before, I loved her the moment I saw her, cliché, and I knew we could never be. We were never meant to be together, exist together. But that didn't slow me down, shamelessly flirting and casual flaunting that turned hateful way too quick and then back to okay, it made my head spin, it still does.

I finished the heart shape and added a little plus sign; I knew it meant more than just a joke, hopefully so did she. As I put the knife in it's holder above my left boot, I leaned on the tree once more and felt a sudden rush of energy. It was incredible, same feeling as fighting your way out of a horde of vamps and not even get blood stains on your favourite white tee. I felt revitalized.


	12. Heavy Fuel

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, as per usual, send your praises to people better than I but leave the complaints in the reviews. I can deal with those. 'Heavy Fuel' is a song by Dire Straits. I'm sure they own the title... or someone other than I.

**Note:** Okay, so two quick updates... both of which I am not the happiest with. Say so long to the tree, it won't be making an appearance again... I have a feeling it's not very well liked anyways. I will pick up another point of view, a person this time. Hopefully it works out. There should be no huge problems with this chapter, other than spelling/etc, no help should be needed.

Heavy Fuel

The ground was cold against my back, my legs hurt and my hands hurt worse. I opened my eyes but they refused to focus, they remained shut for a few moments longer while the memories came into the open. Screaming and blood. _What have I done now?_ It wasn't unusual for me to wake up cold and bloody, the past week in particular had been a nightmare. Fighting vampires with fucking swords, while drunk, was not a very good idea. Thank the Powers that Be for slayer healing, times three. I'm pretty sure the other two had my back the whole time;_ I should treat them better._

_You're okay now. Run away. Go back to town… I'll handle… handle this fucker. _I coughed harshly, vodka. I opened my eyes again, and things were a little clearer. I was in a graveyard of course, lying next to a fresh grave complete with flowers. I attempted to pull myself to a sitting position but that had mixed results, my head spun one way while everything else spun the other way. _Concussion. _I looked at the tombstone; a chunk was missing from the corner._ I hope that's where the vamp hit that and not me. _The air was damp and cold, the sun had just risen. _Lucky fucker. _I closed one eye in hopes that the world would stop its merry-go-round, it did, my hands were bruised and bloody, my jeans were muddy and bloody, my leather jacket was…

"You're finally awake eh." _A voice._ The voice that rang out was not someone native from Scotland, they sounded, well I didn't know from where exactly but I'd have put money on the Northern States. My eye scanned around, my jacket hit me hard in the face before I had a chance to see the voice.

"Get up or that mud stain will just get worse…" A woman, one I did not recognize. My hands found my jacket which was warmer than the rest of me.

"Who are you?" My voice was dry, hardly recognizable as the 'smooth talking Faith' everyone got so well acquainted with last night.

"The one who kept you safe last night. Get up. We need to leave before the mourners show up." My feet were unsteady, my boots were soaked. _Did you go swimming Faith? _My eye still made me pay; I did my best to make out the woman who was my saviour. She was maybe two inches taller than me, her hair was dirty blonde, her jeans fit loose as did her jacket, the only thing that showed off her strength was the broadsword she had dangling from her waist. _Temperance Kane._ That was only a guess.

"Who are you?" I asked again, I didn't really expect a better response which was a good thing because she didn't give a very good one, just low murmur and a glare. She started walking away from me as soon as I had stood up; walking wasn't as easy for me. My left knee felt like it had been hit with a sledge hammer, _that explains the tombstone_, and I was as fuckin' frozen as a Popsicle.

"I don't have a vehicle… which _totally_ sucked for me." She started talking at around a hundred paces from the gates; we were headed down a hill on a curvy road that I also did not recognize. "The town you tore around in is, oh, two kilometres from here. You will walk it. I know you can. Gerry will teleport us back to my bar." I couldn't see her face, I couldn't tell how angry she was, her voice cut through me, made me feel like I was six years old. She spoke with power and confidence which was shown in her walk too, head held high, back straight, hand rested on the hilt of her sword.

"You were damn hard to track down Faith, Mr. Giles sent me a letter day you left I think. I was tracking you day after I got it, only caught up with you now. You sure picked a funny route, where were you headed? Doesn't matter I suppose, I let Mr. Giles know I'd look for you but not to expect anything. Apparently, you had some Witch losin' it with some … Buffy? What kinda valley-girl name is that… this Witch was castin' some mighty heavy spells lookin' for your sorry ass." She turned around, a sly smile played across her face. "I don't see the fuss though, you really need a shower." She was funny, and talked a lot, but it wasn't babbling. She was telling me a story, explaining it even though I didn't deserve to hear it; I still think she thought that she was punishing me. She wasn't.

"He got her calmed down, your valley-girl was mighty pissed, boy oh boy, but we don't ever have to talk 'bout her if you don't want. I don't like dealing with past girls, all that gives me a headache and I don't need to hear your conquest stories." I remained silent while she spoke, I didn't trust my weak-voice, it made me sound timid and I couldn't deal with that. She just kept talking, letting me know what I did in each town. She always got there a day or two late, made damn sure I knew it too. In total I had visited eight towns and gotten kicked out of each bar in each town. Someone should give me a medal.

We arrived at the town, I missed the 'welcome sign' and then figured it didn't matter, I wasn't going to write to anyone and I wasn't planning on making note of any of my adventures, so town names seemed pointless. I can't even tell you the name of the town that the 'the Angels Fist' was in, her bar. The alley we met Gerry in was five minutes from where we entered the town; he was a short fat man, with absolutely no hair anyplace I could see. He stared me up and down, and then ignored me.

"This is what you were looking for?"

"Yeah." He laughed heartily.

"You sure know how to pick 'em Kane. She ever teleported 'fore?"

"Get us outside if you can."

"Sure. No problem. Drop me a letter Kane, we should go hunting soon." He clasped her arm but she gave no response. The next thing I know is I'm doubled over trying damn hard not to spill all I got over the stone pathway.

"Do what you have to. You run, I will kill you. I'm not searching for you again, and don't give me the 'but-I'm-a-slayer' bullshit. I'll be inside waiting, join me."

I sank to my haunches and she went through the old wooden door. The nausea left me pretty quick. The whole teleporting thing was a very interesting experience. The view was… extraordinary; the building she walked into must have been a hundred years old. Old stone and wooden beams, that was all on my left. On my right was a four foot crumbling wall made of stones around the size of basketballs. The road that stretched ahead of me was also stone with overgrown weeds and grass filling the gaps, large tree branches hung over me and blocked the sunlight. I turned around, and saw pretty much the same thing. There were a few other buildings, but they were at least thirty feet down the road.

I closed my eyes, taking in the new scents of the road and figured I'd try not running. My hand pushed the heavy door open; the room I walked into was a back-pantry, had four kegs and hundreds of old, dusty bottles on the shelves. I went through the opposite door, and found myself in a narrow hallway. She was leaning against the wall smiling a little bit.

"Thank you for not running. I would have-"

"What's your goddamn name?" I cut her off, she had talked enough. Her little smiled didn't go away.

"Chasing you down again didn't seem like a good waste of my time, I have a failing business to watch yah know."

"Stop talking. God."

"Now that isn't my name, you sometimes just need to listen. My name has already been mentioned."

"Kane."

"That's what you can call me. I'll show you were you will be sleeping tonight. I'm definitely too tired to discuss your future plans right now." _Coulda fooled me._ "I picked up your duffel from the first bar you landed at, washed your clothes, and didn't touch anything else. I also found your knife, but you don't get that back tonight, alright? Good! So, we go through the managers' office and up those creaky stairs." I followed her, she moved slow but fluidly not rushing to get there, there was no rush. Nothing was going to change if we walked fast or slow, she moved at a pace where things seemed to work. When she walked the world seemed to slow around her, everything got caught in her wake and made the choice to slow-the-fuck-down and take it easy. When she talked, she was easy to follow never skipping a beat, never sounding like a pompous-ass, pretentious, egotistic, or retarded.

"Alright, go down the hall on your right, you room is through the only door down that way. The door is unlocked, and the room hasn't been used in quite a while. There will be dust on the furniture, I did change the sheets. Open the windows by the bed to let the room air out a bit more, and bathrooms' all yours… we have about forty-five minutes of hot water but don't worry about that too much." She smiled kindly, her eyes had softened since her 'demand' in that alleyway, and her voice had become more angelic. "My room is straight ahead here, if you need something, ask. See you tomorrow, Faith."

She left me standing at the top of the stairs; she had turned her back to me. Flashes of me running at her and using her own sword against her ran through my mind. I pushed them away and touched my hair, what hair I could find. It was mostly mud, I grimaced. _Fuck, no wonder Gerry had given me a strange look_. A long shower was exactly what I needed; it also showed me how much of a beating I had allowed myself to take over the last three weeks. No major injuries other than a seriously twisted knee and wrist, both of which got wrapped in the bandages she had left for me.


	13. Time Stops

**Disclaimer: **No money or really anything is being made from this piece of... crap. I do not own any of the characters... or it's universe. I own... nothing.

**Notes: **Forgot to mention last time, from Chapter's 2-10 two days pass, and nine days have passed when Chapter 11 starts. That's nice and confusing for you readers eh? This chapter occurs just after Faith ... uh, left. Confused? "Time Stops" is by Explosions in the Sky, and I'm sure they own it. Thanks to all you patient readers, I have completed the story with a pen and paper, so I just need to type it up, and rewrite and edit a lotmore. Don't worry, the end is still quite a few chapters away. Oh, and finally... I apologize for my interpretation of Buffy's 'voice', I don't think I got it right... hopefully it's better in the later chapters.

Time Stops

"I can't believe you would pull this sort of shit Buffy! I thought we were over this!" Willow was yelling at me still; _excuse me I just saved our lives. Probably._ If there was one person on this fucked up planet that I could never fully trust, it would be Faith, and now she's gone. One less loose end to worry about, really, I don't need to watch her self destruct and go on a rampage. I don't care what they say.

"If this book turns out to be a recipe for cream of wheat, we are SO screwed because that sure is an evil prophecy Buffy, how ever will we stop it from taking over the world!?" Willow just kept on yelling, it was just me and her now, Kennedy had went to look for Faith after a few moments of what looked like deep thought. _Ken doesn't have deep thoughts, her and Faith are on the same level there. _Giles had just stood there, black book in hand –it rested a table now, looking blankly around. He left shortly after Kennedy. _He always leaves, that's nothing new._ No one had walked through the door yet, even though I knew Dawn was eavesdropping along with a few of the other slayers. They weren't my problem right now though.

"She was doing well. _Living._ Dealing, obviously we are all still here so her capabilities as a leader aren't as terrible as you thought."

"She's evil, Will. It's in her eyes. Why can't you see it?"

"What you see in her eyes isn't evil, Buffy…" Her voice dropped almost to a whisper.

"What is it then? Because it sure looks evil. With this job, if it looks evil and talks evil, it is evil."

"Can't you just trust me?"

"Obviously not." I regretted those words the moment they left my mouth; she looked like I had kicked a puppy over a fence. I crossed my arms. "Will, of course I trust you, just not when it comes to matters about Faith. Look at her past, not exactly smiling faces and rainbows."

"None of our pasts are clean, we've all done things we regret and yet you've managed to forgive us all, at least you say so." She looked away from me. "I'm glad you've come back, but the cost seems a little high. I'm… I'm going to start looking up this dialect… it looks to be a long night."

"It's not a recipe for cream of wheat… it's about Faith. Faith killing us all." She still didn't look at me, it hurt less than I figured it would. I had the whole thing planned out the moment I left Cape Town. I would get to the castle and get rid of Faith, forcefully or otherwise. I had picked up some new moves; I was definitely stronger than her now.

The first week I was gone was the worst, time seemed to go by so slow. I missed Dawn every second, and wondered how much she hated me. I didn't even say goodbye. I had left Willow tied up in her room; what a fucked up goodbye. And Faith, well that goodbye was something I ever wanted to experience again. Like come on, Faith and me? Feelings, with the touching… and if she wasn't so fucking crazy... _No! She is fucking crazy! _Then just maybe, we always had the 'soul-mate' connection, sort of. Chosen Two. _No, I won't go through this again._The only goal of the first week was to get out of Scotland, which was easier than I had figured. Willow had gotten us all passports so we could legally leave the United States, as legally as we ever do things. I hitched a ride to Edinburgh, yeah I hitchhiked, and took the earliest flight I could find, and I wound up in Spain and just kept moving. For eight months I was never alone, in Sunnydale I would slay, have to slay, alone knowing that I was the only one capable of dealing with threats of demons and vampires and other nasties. In Barcelona, I met Cruz and he introduced me to the world. We met up with Nora in Cape Town two months later; it took the three of us six months to find Cammoro and the prophecy. _Definitely time well wasted._

I left Willow in the library and picked up another fight, if that's what it was. She more or less attacked me in the hallway; the hug was definitely something I needed.

"Buffy, man, I knew you'd come back." Her smile was as big as the hug, and the slap that followed wasn't anything to worry about. "_That _was for leaving without a goodbye! God. Rude much?"

"Dawn…"

"No, no… it's fine. Really, why wouldn't it be? I mean, touring the world, finding whatever it was you lost. Obviously you didn't find your mind, but I don't think you'll ever find that." We started to walk; she deserved some time to talk to me. They all did, they all would. The castle was exactly as it was when I left it: Dark, damp, and cold. With the vaulted ceilings and the narrow hallways, I figured it would echo well but it didn't. We just walked.

"I wrote you a whole bunch of letters, you know, outlining the events of the week: Spreading gossip, letting you in the inner workings of our little society, but since you were kind enough to not leave an address that we could reach you at… they are sitting on my dresser… collecting dust. I'll let you read them, maybe then you'll understand a few things." We were silent for only a minute when we arrived at her room.

"One second okay?" She disappeared into her room; normally I would have followed her, sat on her bed and gossiped. Like a big sister would do, but things were different right now. Not all was as it should be, I had strained my friendships, and going back to the old ways like nothing had happened was probably not the best thing to do. Dawn handed me a small stack of letters.

"So, uhm the ones from the beginning are longer... you'll see why... but they get real short real quick." I stare at the letters. She hugged me stiffly this time. "It's great that you are back Buffy, but I have to study... high school by correspondence sucks." The door was closed gently in my face, it was more than I deserved.


	14. Breathless

**Disclaimer:** I do not own 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' or any of that... universe. 'Breathless' is by 40 Below Summer, so let them own it... I just borrowed the title.

**Notes: **This chapter is as straightforward as I could make, which as it turned out, is pretty straightforward. As for the previous Chapter, yeah Buffy was being a major bitch ... get used to it, heh. Read on faithful readers, review if you like.

Breathless

The sun was stupidly bright through the places the window blind didn't quite reach. It was flopping against the wooden sill, the wind sounded very light, but it was enough to wake me up. I felt mentally rested, and still physically exhausted, nightmares all night. They were the ones were no matter how hard you try to wake up something stops you and you have to live them out, have to see what happens. Each time my knife found its way into my chest, buried to the hilt, with B standing right there. It was quick and her expression was of pure horror. I was never good at decoding dreams, so B stabbing me just pulled up thoughts from when she actually stabbed me, and that just made me feel shitty.

_'Lie, cheat, and steal kiddo. Lie, cheat and steal.'_

My senses were all fucked up, I had no clue what time it was, what day it was and even where I was, everything was a little foggy. I kept my eyes closed and tried to recall the events of the last few weeks. Lots of vodka, lots of beer… lots of sex and mindless, heartless actions. I didn't think I had killed anyone, actually I was fairly certain that the only things I killed were vampires and the only human I tried to kill was myself. _Temperance Kane._ _Her_ name hung in my mind, the talkative but not boring 'saviour' the girl Giles had put faith in. _Heh._ I was also pretty sure I hadn't killed her… yet.

I opened my eyes and things were bright, I looked at my hands: bruised and swollen. The room I was in was fairly big, a desk and chair in one corner, a dresser against the wall, a mirror next to the door (bathroom), and this bed. The room still smelled damp and musty, as if it had been locked up for decades and only opened up yesterday. The sheets were not as nice as my silk ones, these were old and worn but at least they smelled like detergent. The walls were wood paneled and the ceiling was stucco, the curtains were dark red.

I slid the sheet down my body and tried to reassess the damage. A couple cracked ribs, more bruises than I could count: one old scar, no new tattoos or piercings. My knee had swelled, the bandage was now straining, and I loosened it, which in turn hurt my wrist. The knuckles on my left hand were black and cutup, I needed to find some disinfectant. I swung my legs off the bed, and set my feet on the floor. Hardwood, no carpet, thank god. The bathroom was tiny, a shower, toilet and sink. No mirror, no medicine cabinet.

"Shit." I murmured_. The search begins._

I left the bathroom and made way for the other door, turned the doorknob slow and gentle, it only creaked a little but opened without a whole lot of force. She didn't lock me in. The hallway was narrow and dark, no windows, and it was carpeted an ugly red. I walked down the hall, taking long silent strides; my knee did not appreciate it. I slowed and crouched at the corner, sucked in a slow steady breath and focused on my surrounding. There was a steady heartbeat on this floor, nothing below me, I breathed in slowly through my nose; there was no fear in the air. My slayer senses told me there was someone close but not around the corner. I smiled and walked around.

"I can help you, you know that." _Guess I was wrong. _"I was training to be a watcher, as Mr. Giles probably told you. I would like to help you because I have no interest in fighting with you, or killing you." I narrowed my eyes at her, looking for an angle, looking for something. "You'll need disinfectant. Sorry I didn't leave you any, but I did need a reason to see you today." She smiled; it didn't mask the puffiness under her eyes. "Downstairs behind the bar… I'll make breakfast. Come on."

Breakfast was definitely a solid plan for really two reasons, one I was totally fuckin' starved and the other was … that I needed some time to think about my new situation. To think about this 'friend' of Giles'. I'm not completely stupid, _'there is only one person you can trust Faithy… and you haven't met 'em yet.'_ people are unreliable and they are never there when you fuckin' need them. Fuckin' hey, whatever. I don't need 'friends', I don't need anyone.

She walked ahead of me down the stairs into her office, her hair was done in a sloppy ponytail, her tee-shirt hung rather than clung and her jeans were worn down the seams, worn like they had seen more than their fair share of action. In general, her appearance left a lot to my imagination. She wasn't ugly, no, far from ugly, very girl-next-door. Unattainable, yah dig?

"Forgive the mess; I can't blame it on anything really. I am busy, but not _that _busy." She waved her arm around her 'desk' which appeared to be just a pile of papers and books. "I was doing some research before I started searching for you, I was hoping to find out more about the increased amounts of vampire activity here… I think it's just a gang moving through… hopefully they won't be staying." I didn't say a word, I kept my guard up. _No more losing sight of the situation and losing my edge… no sir. _

She pushed the door open with considerable force and muttered something about oiling it. I ignored her and followed carefully. The next door we went though lead to the main bar area; it was quaint, nice and not as Scottish as one might have expected. There was a moose head on one wall, sabres and many other swords on another, and paintings on the last. The bar was empty and then it hit me again, I had no clue what time it was. I looked up, hoping to see a clock but just saw her, resting on her hands against the bar; back to me, head dipped low.

"Look…" She started; I noticed apprehension in her voice. "Mr. Giles' letter was pretty insightful. I know what you are all about…" _You have no clue… _"And that doesn't really bother me. He didn't explain everything in a great amount of detail, it's not like I would take his word for it. You found peace, and now you may have lost it… but just know, I'm here to help you. If you let me." She turned to face me slowly; there was no expression on her face: a thin line for lips and dark eyes. I drew a blank.

"Uh, what time is it?" _Nice one… smooth. _She laughed.

"Oh hell, right now? Oh probably close to noon. I found you around, oh … five this morning. We arrived back here at six, then you crashed. You'll sleep better tonight. If you'll stay?" Her cheerful smile went back to a blank stare.

I looked at her with a scowl now, my options were shitty… they always were: stay or run. Before Sunnydale I'd run from my problems, run from place to place, crime to crime, bed to bed. Even in Sunnydale I'd run from my problems, but I could never get very far. Someone always caught me. It seemed that I always ended up running, so this time I figured… I might as well get some sleep first.

"Best I can offer is a day-to-day sorta thing…You tell G that I'm here and I'm gone. Simple. 'Kay?" My brow furrowed, that look was probably permanent, and I leaned hard on my left leg. My eyes hurt, my head hurt, my everything hurt, and this conversation was doing nothing to help it. She smiled and nodded, the one time she had nothing to say I would have loved to hear her voice… She disappeared though a doorway behind the bar, reappeared for a second and left rubbing alcohol and a towel on the counter, before disappearing again.

"Best I can offer for breakfast is bacon 'n eggs. It's not very Scottish but I'm sure you won't mind." She was speaking loudly from the 'kitchen'. I ignored her, didn't reply, whatever. Temperance just kept on talking anyways, talking about the people of the town, how everyone here didn't belong anywhere; the town of outcasts. Demons and humans living together, I didn't like it at all. After fifteen minutes of only half listening to her I completely zoned out and tried to rest comfortably on a stool. That didn't work the greatest.

My thoughts were of how badly I fucked everything up, the world may not have ended due to my actions, hell wasn't charging the front lines, there was no fire and brimstone raining from the heavens, no cloaked strangers walking around chanting, no ceremonial daggers, plates, cups or clothing missing. I didn't fuck up bad enough to end the world, but I did end my own world… and I was really giving serious thought to ending B's world too. _This doesn't make sense… I didn't feel her until she was killing me…_Normally I could feel B a mile away, and if she wants to kill me, she tends to have good reasons. The Powers that Be made me whole again, they brought me back and I came back good. I didn't think they would bring me back just to have B kill me half a year later… or if I was going to turn back to my evil ways…_They wouldn't do that._

"Bacon and eggs, best in town. Only in town… well, okay maybe not the only ones in town, but they surely are the best." Temperance left the plate which more of less resembled a tray in front of me and my appetite returned immediately. _Maybe this won't be so awful…_ Maybe indeed.


	15. Sunglasses at Night

**Disclaimer: **Same shit as usual. I don't own 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and Corey Hart owns (I think) the song 'Sunglasses at Night' ... shush, I _like_ that song.

**Notes: **Without spoiling anything... I'm just going to say... this is an important chapter. Kind of. I think it's important. You'll decide on your own at the end of the story which is... approaching at a steady rate. There isn't a lot that I need to explain here... if you get confused, ask me, I'll explain. Thank you reviewers, I appreciate the kind words... and as always, read on readers. Oh yeah, before I forget... I'm glad someone else enjoyed ... the tree. I had fun (kinda) writing it, it needed to end though since Faith and the story needed to move on...

Sunglasses at Night

The fog was thick in the air, surrounding tombstones and trees with ease. I sucked in a hard, shaky breath, it was the nerves. I wasn't supposed to be standing in front of her; she was supposed to be out of my life. We were just out on patrol, there were rumours of a nest and the newbies wanted some action, some real action. Why can't I remember what happened? My mind only gave me images of the people in my life, Giles, Willow, Xander… Mom, Dawn, Dad… Faith. I shake my head.

"What are you doing here, Faith?" I whispered, not liking how timid I sounded. She didn't reply. "Where's the girls, where's Kennedy! What did you do?!" I screamed at her, my voice was scratchy and full of emotion; again she didn't move, didn't even bat an eyelash. She just stood there, arms crossed looking all confident, sexy… remorseful, sad, terrified… no, never any of those. She stood there with a slight smirk enjoying its stay on her lips. NO! It only took a second for my frustration to kick in, and the memory of how much I loathed her resurfaced. "What did you do Faith?" Her dark eyes rose to mine, her smile hadn't faded and her eyes were softer than I had ever seen before. "What did _I_ do, Faith?"

Her eyes remained locked on mine; her smile only wavered when she spoke. "You kill, B." My throat tightened, and I closed my eyes. Nothing, no memories… just their faces again.

"I didn't kill anyone, Faith." No sound.

"No B, you will." She whispers.

--

"Any progress on my prophecy Giles? It's been two weeks since…" I trail off, hoping he'll finish. It's been a little tough, trying to repair my strained friendships but for the most part it's been pretty good. I've been welcomed back with open arms, from most of the new slayers, Willow and Dawn were next, Kennedy won't say a word but she does take her orders (I leave it at that), Xander I think is trying but between him and Giles I don't even know how to begin fixing…

"Some, but it is slow going. Willow has been writing a computer program to help; we should have something in the next week or so." He hesitates, never a good sign.

"Take my word for it." We don't talk for a few minutes after that, the library is empty, and our meeting won't start for another fifteen minutes. I was early because I needed to talk to him alone. "I'm dreaming of _her_ Giles…" I keep my eyes on the table between us, staring at the space between my hands. I can hear his heart rate increase at the mention of _her_; I've tried to keep the topic of Faith to something a little less hostile. "I dreamt of her that first night after… then again that Friday… and now everyday…"  
"Buffy…"

"I don't know what it means, I mean, I guess I do, guilt and regret maybe."  
"Buffy. What are the dreams about?" I turn my head and blink the tears away that I refuse to let fall for her.

"She kills me, after we talk… I think she kills; maybe not kills, but she definitely does something to you guys… or just Kennedy. Then sometimes… she kills me. Knife in the chest." I cross my arms, feeling exposed and needing protection. He rests on his elbows.

"What does she say?"

"What does it matter?" It's a whisper, but it's solid. It's never just simple with Faith, why can't it just be simple. Slayer dreams are all about meaning, but there is no meaning in her words anymore. They are simple, the actions aren't. Why does he need to know…?

"Buffy, please… it might prove useful." He's patient, always has been. I'm not, not about her at least. The tears won't go away no matter how hard and fast I blink.

"She says, 'You kill, B' and 'you will, B'. God I hate that nickname…" I don't actually; I hate how she said it: easily. And for the record, I don't kill…

"The same dream each time?"

"No, they are different… but I can't remember the details. They do tend to end with me dying..." The heavy doors swing open and Kennedy, Will, Xander, and a few other slayers walk in (the better slayers, potential leaders).

"If they get worse or more prophetic let me know, but it sounds like you are just guilty. Shall we start the meeting then?" We shall, the dreams return that night but I don't tell Giles anything about it.

--

She's leaning against a crypt this time, a crypt she had leant against many times before. We are in Sunnydale, one of the graveyards we patrolled often. Her cigarette is being abused, it hasn't been tapped in a good while, and it's dangling from her lips… beautiful, even when she smokes. She slowly exhales, very gently, the smoke she releases drifts lazily from her nostrils and mouth, up around the curves of her face. Blue smoke, dark light. She's a picture in a disappearing frame.

"Faith…" She does not meet my eyes, doesn't even move to acknowledge my words. The cigarette just keeps burning, smoke keeps trailing.

"Faith, please…"

"Please what, B? I'm gone." Her voices trails off, I wish she would say more, her voice is calming, soothing. She grasps the cigarette and taps the ash to the ground; it sparkles all the way down. Smoke is blown from her lungs into the air. "Gone B, just like the smoke. Just like you asked." Too many words have now been spoken, just four too many.

"You were, are, going to hurt us. You… You…"

"You sure 'bout that, B?" She saunters closer, no leather pants tonight, just tight jeans, a white tank, and her leather jacket. Her hands have already found her pack of smokes and her Zippo. I can smell her cigarettes, I can smell the rough soap she uses to scrub the blood away, and I can smell the leather of her coat. _Sunnydale is a crater, a hole… _

"Faith… this is a…" _dream_. Did you say it, or did I think it…

Her hand was calloused, rough and strong. Her lips were soft, gentle, and warm. She tasted like cigarettes, and that didn't matter. All that mattered was that when she kissed me, she her hand ran through my hair, while her other (the one with the cigarette hopefully) pulled me a bit closer to her body, her kiss was powerful, but not as forceful as I expected. She drew back and I was immediately cold, wet. _Dripping? Wait…_

"B?" Her voice had lost its vigour, intimidation no longer dripped from her words, instead blood dripped from my hand, from the hole I had made in her chest.


	16. The Dance

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' ... that's probably a good thing. "The Dance" is by Garth Brooks... and the only country song I will probably ever use in the story.

**Notes: **I've very afraid that I have totally effed up my time line... but I can't seem to figure it out so I can fix... this will bother me for a while, so this is just a warning... If the Chapter 14 didn't go over well... then ... the next few chapters could be a problem. Read on. Review if you'd like.

The Dance

I woke up drenched again, nightmares, that was the second time that night, every night this week. I was still there, still staying with Temperance, still not knowing where to go, what to do, who to be. It wasn't bad with her, she gave me distance, gave me time. There was no needing to be perfect, I drank and I smoked, and she did the same. There was no need for excuses, when I went after the Norse vampire gang (my description) and she needed to pull me to safety after I failed to kill more than one of them and was about to get my head squished like a grape, she never asked me why. Why did I go and something so reckless, so dangerous, so … like the old me.

_'That's all you are Faithy, the same old bag of tricks.'_

With B on my mind and mom in my mind I knew the reason, sometimes you need to let loose, let it all out and hope to hell that things just work out and you'll walk out the hero, never the zero. I went in with all I had, just me, the two didn't agree with my actions and refused to aid me. Looking at it now, I don't blame them. The only thing I hurt was my ego, but Temperance, T, kept reminding me that it could have been worse. My ego, my goddamn ego… it got me into so much trouble, I thought I had gotten over it. Guess you never really do.

I left her alone in the bar after we walked back, didn't want to hear anymore of what she had to say, I was just scared, scared that she wouldn't yell and demand an explanation. I just hid, went to my room like a child, closed the door and went to sleep. The nightmares haunt me, fuckin' B. It's all her fault, 'cause they sure ain't normal dreams, no sir, these be slayer dreams. There's no fuckin' way I'm causing them either, I'm sure about that too, so sure, I may be there but the spotlight is on B. Like always, like living in the fuckin' dark. 'cept it's not dark, 'cause that goddamn spotlight is so damn bright it blinds you. Fuckin' B, she killed me tonight but that's only fair, I killed her last night… I think we're even now, all tied up, can't be hundred percent sure, I haven't been keeping score.

I sit up in bed; my sheet has been long lost to the floor. It tends to stay there most nights; I can't sleep right without my silk sheets. I bring my knees up a little bit and rest my arms on them, thinking, figuring, trying to find a goddamn weakness for those vamps. There are only five of them now, but four of them are way over six feet, the other one is short, my height. But they are big, fuckin' ripped, and not stupid, not like the stupid vamps I dusted back in the States.

I had just drifted back into planning mode when the door to my room bounced off the wall, and brought me back.

"Oh, sorry, you weren't sleeping were you?" She stood there with a silly smile on her face. "I would have woken you up anyways, come on. I have a plan, well… maybe not a plan-plan, but its sure spur of the moment." She smiled and tilted her head to the hallway. "I guarantee you will enjoy this."

I swung my legs of the bed and nodded slightly, in the two weeks I've known her, I've learned that she is not very 'spur of the moment' girl. "This should be interesting…" I muttered as I followed her to the bar.

"This sure is interesting." I said, as I looked at the dozen bottles lined up. "We drinking'?" She shook her head stepped to the side; there was a pile of rags. "Awesome. Fuckin' awesome." I smiled broadly now, my muscles tensed as I imagined those goddamn vamps burning.

"Alright, see, good idea. Six for you, half-a-dozen for me." She smiled, I shook my head. "They are down at the Baron's old barn; no one here will miss it if it goes up. No one will miss it anywhere."

"You know for sure they are there?" _No fuck ups tonight. Not again._

"You bet, you remember Mig?" _Mig? Right… he's a strange dude._

"The gargoyle, Faith. He was just there."

Mig was a _very_ interesting dude, being a slayer you get to meet and kill a great many demon, Mig was cursed as a 'young lad' as he puts it, slept with a blacksmiths daughter around four-hundred years ago, the mother who was a very angry witch, decided to curse him. He wasn't really a gargoyle, like the ones you see on the side of the castle, but he did transform into stone when the sun came up, other than that little detail, he was really hot.

"Faith?"

"Yeah, okay, let's do it." And we did.

It didn't take us long to get there, fifteen minutes at a steady sprint. We had packed the bottles of whiskey (not the good stuff, thank god) in silly squishy beer coolers, wrapped in bubble wrap. We each had two coolers. She said it would be a good idea to not break any of them, I agreed. The five of them were all passed out in the barn; T whispered that sunrise was just an hour away. I didn't believe her until we got back, and hour later, when the sun was up. We lit stuffed the rags in the bottles. The barn went up quick, so did they. We hooted and hollered all the way back to the bar.

We drank until noon, and then her hand had lingered a bit long on mine which then made me realize, realize that two weeks had gone by and I hadn't noticed her slight advances, and wasn't about to take advantage of them now that I had. I paid it no attention and neither did she; things were not awkward after that moment. She just set another beer on the table and impressed me with her beer-bottle opening skills.

The rest of the afternoon involved me moving her jukebox to a more usable location, and playing really, really bad songs until she sobered up, she took her revenge by asking about B.

"Why'd you leave?" An innocent question. "I think it's a fair question, Mr. Giles explained it in his letter. But that was just a few reasons why you should have left. No one held a gun to your head and said 'leave or die'?" _He didn't tell you._

"It's complicated."

"It's the valley-girl ain't it, this 'Buffy' character."

"That's one way to put it." I lowered my voice.

"Whenever someone says it complicated and a girl is involved, that tends to mean there was _involvement_. Yeah?" I thought for a moment, her phrasing had confused me. _Involvement, me and B?_

"Well, yeah. No. What kinda involvement you talking about? Sex? Fuck no, I wouldn't, couldn't get near her like that with a ten foot pole. We have a rough past. Shit, that's over simplifying things." _Chill Faith, don't say too much… no good comes from that, remember?_

"Mr. Giles just mentioned that there was some tension, he had thought things were resolved."

"He fuckin' would!" I yelled. _Screw being calm. _"I even thought things were, fuck, I guess she never got over it. G mention that I'm evil, no good? Some fuckin' killer? No, he didn't want to scare you, alarm you. Didn't want you know you'd be housing an ex-wanted felon." I stand and run a hand through my hair; it has tangles, from the wind. She remains quiet for once, I don't.

"You could say there was involvement between me and B, Buffy. You could say I made a good attempt to ruin her life, ruin everyone in her life. Tried to kill her vamp, fucked her best friend, tried to kill the other one, tried to kill her mom, and ran with evil to take over that goddamn town. She almost killed me, but then I came back and fucked around with her life even more. Angel taught me a lesson, a lesson I took to heart. Took it deep, jail helped too." I paused. _Fuckin' rambling like Hood, I probably didn't even mention it all…_

"After we saved the world, uh you know things changed. Shit was said, long story short, things were supposed to change. If you fuck things around as much I did it never really returns to its natural form, no amount of apologies make it better. Redemption, you only find that in yourself." I took a shaky breath.

"She didn't hold a gun to my head, that wasn't needed. That's all I am going to say."

"Thank you, Faith. Thank you for telling me, for trusting me." I did.

"Shit, no big deal T. We all got a sob story." My bravado came back in an instant; smirk replacing a pained grin, she didn't ask another question about B, or Giles, or anyone.


	17. Dark Waltz

**Disclaimer:** I do not own 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and I am most certainly not profiting from this, I don't believe anyone profits from this. The song is 'Dark Waltz' by Hayley Westenra, let's let her own it. First lyrics heard are from the song "Voices" by Cheap Trick, and the next line of lyrics is from "Mendocino County Line" by Willie Nelson (ft. Lee Ann Womack) ... I cannot say it enough... I don't own anything.

**Notes:** Wow, I just noticed that I updated a lot this weekend... a whole lot... things will be slower now that they work week has started again. This chapter... I just couldn't get it right... I keep rewriting it and not getting closer to what I wanted it to be (it is but it isn't). For while there I thought this might be the last chapter... but... it's not. Before this note gets too long... I still haven't found the mistake I made yet and read on! ...

Dark Waltz

"Faith! Seriously, stop! No, don't. No!" My chuckle fell unnoticed as I let the last coin fall into the jukebox. I pressed in my selection. "You didn't."

_"You didn't know what you were looking for, 'Till you heard the voices in your ear…"_

"You did… come on! There are more, _different_, songs on that damn machine…" She kept mumbling as she walked back towards the bar. I inserted a couple more coins and made up a quick queue of less horrific songs. I then followed her back to the bar. The jukebox had apparently sat neglected for years, in a corner with a sheet over it, because she had gotten annoyed with this song. She was still mumbling when I slid onto one of the stools and smiled at her. Four weeks, that's how long I've been staying here.

"What's with the hate? Jeez T, this song is amazing."

The blank, horrified stare she gave me was enough to let another chuckle slip through. "There's only another four minutes, say why don't we drink till we like this song?" We didn't drink though, I was slipping away again. _Not again… not again not again not again._

"Faith." The song was different now.

_"Talking about redemption and leaving things behind, as the sun sank west on the Mendocino County line."_

"Faith, hey…" Her hand was warm on mine, squeezing gently. "You okay?" Her words bent with time, slowed and fell in tune with the song. I blinked.

--

"What did you say?" Anger and pain. _What did I say?_

"What?"

"Seriously Faith, what the fuck did you say?" _Why are you angry B?_ My head feels like it's been run over by a Mack truck and my eyes don't want to focus. _You're drunk Faith… think, what did you say to her?_

"I, uh…" I can't get the words, can't get anything.

I'm lifted from my seat by the collar of my jacket, B's angry.

"Jesus Christ B, this is my favourite jacket… watch it!" _Everyone fuckin' loves you._ My jaw falls slack, my eyes widen with fear, and my hands go to hers for no good reason. Her horror in her eyes is quickly replaced with disgust.

"Let me refresh your memory Faith. We were sitting here having a good time. Drinking, laughing, and checking out the cute men. MEN! Goddamnit. You, you, ask me what's wrong." She laughs maniacally; she hasn't released my jacket yet.

"That should have tipped me off, you never care unless there's something in it for you. No, I won't fuck you! Fuckin' bitch. You then put you hand on mine, and like a fool I trust you; I tell you why I'm sad. Sad because no one loves me, sad because it seems hopeless now… sad that even though there are more slayers I still can't quit! Sad that the last man I slept with was dead. You smile sadly, and tell me there are people that love you. Lots of people… you take your hand away as you say those words. That was the tell Faith…" She shoves me hard against the counter; my back aches, the bottles and glasses clink uneasily. She keeps pushing me deeper, my back is the only thing relenting, the hard wood holds strong.

"Buffy…"  
"Do not say my name…" She whispers sharply. We are drawing a crowd now, a bouncer stands uneasily to the side, douche bag guys circle up getting' ready with their catcalls.

"I just had to ask what you meant, and you just had to get drunk tonight. Way too drunk to realize what you might say, too drunk to realize that I stuck with soda… why can't you just _die_?" There is nothing in your eyes, they are blank. You unclench you fists and let me fall to the floor, which I do… I hit the floor hard. You back away from me like I'm a rapid animal, you only blink once. So do I. I just don't open my eyes again until the bouncer asks if I'm okay.

The girls we came with drive you back to the castle, I called Giles who arrived three hours later… He never asked about the faded mascara on one spot of my cheek that I forgot to wipe away, he didn't ask me anything the whole trip back.

--

"Faith, shit… come on…" My head feels fucking terrible. "Hold still… you fell off the stool. Jesus, I hope this 'B' is worth all this trouble, seriously… what'd you dream about this time?" I don't answer her, why should I. I've known her four weeks, that doesn't make us friends. That doesn't make us anything. _I should never have come here…_

I drag myself to my feet and wobble only slightly.

"Whoa, hey." She steadies me, but I push her away, violently. She stumbles against one of the bar stools. "Faith?"

I walk towards the main door; she comes after me slowly and touches my arm. I slap her away, she tries again with a little more force… then I do the same. My backhand is not what it used to be, my aim is off: her split lip shows me how much. I suck in a shaky breath and leave the Angels Fist.

During the day, the town is eerily empty 'cause most everyone comes out at night. I head south, south because I think that it's closer. My feet move without my control, I'm silently freaking out. _I hit her… hit… her… me…_ Domestic violence is really not my thing, even though there was no domesticness between me and T, no, there was nothing there. I'm moving quickly; _at least you know the way boots. _I can't, don't hear anything, anything other than my heart. These goddamn dreams… these goddamn visions they keep showing me shit I don't understand, making me relive thing I'd rather let die… Being reminded of how badly I fucked things up with B didn't help my head any, every night I'm reminded of how much she hates me… goddamn. Just when I think they go away, bang, another comes 'round. There was one good one, but I still ended up dead… fuck. In the four weeks I was there, Giles only wrote T once that I know of; he wanted to know if I had arrived. I told her to write back 'no', she did… and that was three weeks ago.

The town is relatively small, then again, the bar is located near the town limits… almost there, and then I could vanish. No more drinking, I was apparently easier to track if I drank.

"Faith!" _Shit._ Shit, she followed me. Of course she did, she likes me. I keep walking.

"Faith, stop, look… you forgot this." She's getting closer. _Damn it go away! Go before I hurt you!_

"Where are you going? Why are you running?" She's right on me now.

"Why the fuck do you think I'm running! I can't stay here… I should never have stayed." She grabs my arm, she is strong. I spin and glare at her, she turns to look away. The Two haven't come out to play since the goddamn Nordic vampires and they are getting antsy. _Now is not a good time._

I stood there silent for a while, so did she.

"I hate her. This valley-girl of yours-" She started, quietly.

"She's not mine, never was. I hate her…"

"But you love her." She sigh was heavy.

Loving Buffy Summers was not easy, and even less easy to admit. It was damn near impossible, only time I came close to doing that I was wasted outta my fucking mind and that almost got me killed. I don't love, I lust. _Lust… keep telling yourself that Faith._ Curse Buffy Summers.

"Look T," The Two didn't come out today; I was no where near angry enough. "It's not that, hey would you at least turn around and look at me when I confess here? Come on."

She did turn around, and she did pull the trigger of the gun she was holding, all before I had a chance to move.


	18. Catching the Butterfly

**Disclaimer:** 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and all it's ... pieces... does not belong to me. I've just been havin' a little bit of fun with the characters... I swear! 'Catching the Butterfly' is by 'The Verve', let them own it.

**Notes:** Oh, ... yes. I didn't make you wait too long after that terrible ending... but it needed to be done... progression and what not. This chapter shouldn't be confusing. I've given up looking for my mistake, I'm sure it'll haunt me when spoilers. So yeah. I'm almost done writing, just revising now. It should, _should _be all posted by ... Friday morning. But I might make you wait... what else... has any one noticed the song titles I've been using work well with the chapter content? No? Just me? Fine. Read on, and review/flame if you'd like.

Catching the Butterfly

Today is the first day of my freedom or at least that's what I had thought. I'd been running all night, I just picked a direction, north seemed to work. Canada was north, isn't that where you were supposed to run to? Run to when you were in trouble? Just walk across some field in Montana or hike the Rockies? Lofty dreams… Truth is I only got to Bakersfield…

I was dead tired, when I wasn't running I was hitching rides, I thought 24 hours would be plenty of time to get away from her, boy oh fuckin' boy was I wrong. She wasn't quite waiting for me when I stopped in some nameless cemetery in Bakersfield, but she was damn close. I had only been there an hour, maybe two. No vamps out yet, still a little early. I was enjoying a cigarette when the bat she brought along struck me hard, fucking hard, across my back. I almost choked on my cigarette when I bit it in half; the good part fell wasted onto the ground, so did I.

"What. The. Fuck. Faith?!" She yelled, almost screamed. I tried to compose myself, but my coughing fits complete with wheezing hacks hindered my response.

"Fuckin' Bakersfield? Do you _know_ anyone here? Where the hell were you planning on going?!" She was still scream-yelling at me. My throat felt raw.

"North. Away, isn't that what you wanted?" _Weak, too fucking weak Faith… 'Never let them know baby-doll… never let them know where you are. See, they can see you… see right into that worm infested noggin of yours… hide Faithy… runaway and fucking hide!'_

She just stood there, eyes wide, mouth slightly parted like she was in mid-word.

"No, Faith…" She said after the moment. "That's not what I wanted." I rose from my knees, a little shakily. She dropped the bat immediately and helped steady me. "Oh, my gosh, I wasn't planning on hitting you so hard… I was just going to hit you… but then I saw you and all this anger, and rage, and pain, and memories, and it hurt and it was like I was Cy Young. Just all pumped up and ready to… why are you laughing?"

"Cy Young was a pitcher…" I chuckled a couple times. "S'ok B, I'm sure I deserved it…"

"Oh… baseball, not really my thing."

"Kinda knew that, B."

Pause.

"Faith?"

"Yeah...?"

Pause.

"Why did you run?" At first my mind was blank, clear of all thoughts. Then, after a moment, all the reasons came forward, all with their little hands in the air, askin' 'Oh pick me, over here! Pay attention! Me! Me!' There was just one reason, a pretty good lookin' one too. Short, blonde... _You B…. fuckin' you._

"B, Buffy. Come on, you seriously think I'm good for stickin' around? You have the "Scoobies" and well, I'm sure I can find somethin' somewhere."

"Faith," Her tone was more serious now. "I'll give you two choices. Well, it's actually three… two just sounded more menacing, okay okay. One, you come back with me. Two, you go back to jail. Three, you keep running and I kill you." Her voice dropped with the last couple words.

I walk away from her weakening grasp and rub my neck. "Helluva choice B. I wasn't planning on going back to jail today, or tomorrow, or anytime really. So I guess that just means that I follow you, or I get killed." I turn to look her in the eyes. "I don't really think I want to follow you." The last option seems like the only option right now.

"Looks like you just have to ki-"

"No Faith, you won't follow me. We lead: you and me. Together. Like it should have been, Chosen Two. If I can't figure out a way to work with you, or beside you… then we'll deal with it then, later. Right now, I would really rather head back to LA with you, alive. This place is kind of a hole…"

I stand there, back to her, for a moment... a few moments. _Go now. Run. _

"Fine B, whatever you say." As soon as the words leave my mouth I want them back, I want to cram those goddamn words back down my pathetic, weak, raw throat and choke on them. _It's hard to be badass when you are so fuckin' weak Faith…_

"Things will be different Faith, I promise. Things will be different." And I believe her.

--

_"Get outta here Faith!"_

_"Fuck off Faith!"_

_"There goes the whore…"_

_"Fucking bitch…"_

_"Go get that for mommy baby-doll."_

_"Shut up. Shut up you little shit…"_

The light bent with the dark as I opened my eyes, everything melted together. The light was too brilliant and the darkness was too engulfing, it grabbed on and never let go. I could feel it deep in my chest, pulling me in every direction. The voices haunted me, all familiar but lost in the jumble.

_"Things will be different."_

_"Ah right, you don't hide..."_

The cold grip on my chin hushed the voices in my head, I couldn't see anything, I couldn't remember anything. The words spoken were distorted but the actions were clear. One eyelid was forced open and a brighter light pierced my senses sharply, the cold steel around my wrists was now very noticeable. The dull clank of the chain against itself and voices speaking words I couldn't quite understand were the only real noises keeping me company as something was pulled from under my feet.

--

"B, hey. You in there? Lemme talk to you…" My fist landed heavily on the wood door for the sixth time, I was still drunk and definitely not thinking things through.

"B, B, B, B… hey! Bloody hell; open the door before I wake everyone up." My inner self winces as I swear like Giles.

The night had been rough, things had been done and said that really should have remained in my head, where they belong… but only just. The dampness of the castle was getting more noticeable as I got more irritated. _Stupid fucking castle… why the fuck did they have to pick a goddamn castle in goddamn Scotland… seriously! It rains all the fucking time and I can't understand a fuckin' word anyone fuckin' says… _I rambled angrily in my mind as my fist kept falling on the door.

"Faith."

A voice. No matter. _Focus on the door Faith, lookit the dent._

"Faith?"

Same voice, I still wasn't listening. _This is the right door… right?_

"Faith!"

My eyes darted up as quickly as they could; the world however took its slow ass time. "B?" Her right hook caught me square on the chin as I turned around. My head rocked off the wood door with a crunch, and then, as soon as the world went black, the light came back and blinded me. _'Sorry…'_

--

"Is she okay? I didn't give her too much…?" The voices were easier to understand now. "She didn't go down with the first dart; you said she would drop as soon as it pierced her skin. I had to shoot her twice more, I was damn lucky I put more than one dart in the gun!" Temperance was here.

"If she did die... things would have been simpler. No matter. She is without her army, and now there is no one to stop us." A low, deep voice… this man spoke slowly with conviction, slowly with the truth dripping from every word.

"I completed my… my task…"

"Patience…" There was no sense of urgency in his voice like other demons, evil people. "She is awake now." He laughed, it hurt worse than his honesty. "She is stronger than I thought, excellent."

"Faith, hey… you sure are strong. I didn't mean to hurt you… I just…"

"Just what… fucking bitch." I spit, _how the fuck can I be okay with this_. I was played, played like a fucking toy. I let my guard down, again, tried so damn hard to be strong, to make it on my own. My own, I was never really on my own. Every little thing was put into place, wasn't it, goddamn B, goddamn Giles. I was doing fine before B came back; fuck, this shit goes back much further than Scotland…

"It's complicated Faith." _She_ was talking to me again.

"Fuck you and your complications!" _Calm Faith… be cool._ "Just tell me what the fuck is going on."

Whenever some goddamn 'god' or demon wants to try and take over the damned world, I've noticed that they always choose some shitty location: cave, sewer, crypt, warehouse… this guy, the guy who had been talking, had me strung up to a tree in the middle of some fuckin' field. _What the fuck._ My sight had pretty much recovered, whatever that bitch had shot me with was wearing off, and I felt almost as strong as before. We were in a clearing, with trees surrounding us on every side, they were still a hundred feet away or so, but we were essentially alone.

"Who the fuck are you?" The man laughed as I demanded. "Answer me!"

"In a situation such as yours, you should not be making demands, slayer." His grin was wide. "Dessa, would you be a dear… and watch over my slayer, the time has come, I must gather my _friends_." He turned and walked away, all dressed in black, flowing away like oil. It made me sick. _His slayer? Fuck him._

"Dessa, that's your name? Then who's Temperance, how the fuck did you-"

"Temperance is my sister, twin sister… this whole twisted plan was for you." She muttered. While my eyes maintained focus on her, I was using other senses to gather information about my surroundings. We were indeed alone, no humans anywhere close, there was no wildlife either; the steel shackles were strong, way too tough for a slayer to break, she had lowered me closer to the ground now, my feet could touch. My boots were gone, a good move, I had a deadly kick with my boots on… but my toes were not as deadly alone.

"This was for you Faith, that fucking monster… he's been laying traps for a long time. He gave that other slayer, Bunny? Terry? The blonde, the valley-girl, she got the prophecy. He crafted it in such a way that she would cast you out, you are… very powerful, Faith…" _You have NO fucking idea._ "You have a special way with the slayers, as a group, you are… would have been troublesome for Cam…"

"Who the fuck is Cam?" A little interruption, I needed more time.

"Cam… Shaman Cammoro. He calls himself the God of Travellers, although he isn't a God yet… he will destroy you and our world…" Her voice broke with every other word. "When he kills you, and he will… he'll become immortal," _Don't they always? _"And rid the world of the slayer plague…"

"Why are you here?"  
"Temperance. He took her, broke her… and told me that I'd see her again only if I could get to you. He took my blood, my sister!" I looked up at my shackles; the weak point was the branch of the tree. It was old, sturdy, and thick. I pulled myself up the chains, did a one-eighty so my feet were on the branch, and started to pull. _Some weak spot…_

"Faith! Stop! He'll be back soon…"

I kept pulling on the chains, nothing.

"Faith!" Her yelling entered my thoughts but registered as background noise, I was focused on pulling the branch off this tree. I probably could have, after thirty seconds of pulling really fuckin' hard, her blood curdling scream made me lose my composure, I lost my grip on the chain and fell hard towards the ground, straining my shoulders badly.

"Sorry Dessa dear… you… you are in the way." _His_ voice, Cam had returned. She fell to the ground. "And you Faith, you're time is soon. So very soon." He raised his hands to the sky, with the same goofy grin attached to his face.

The vampires walked out from the trees, only a couple at first, then a few more and finally a complete circle was formed. I couldn't tell you exactly how many vamps I would have to kill, but I knew it would be a lot.


	19. Astounded

**Disclaimer:** I'm lazy ... see the previous 17 chapters if you want a ing disclaimer. Hehe. 'Astounded' is by Tantric. Let them own it.

**Notes:** Fastest update ever! There is nothing good on TV and it's too early for sleep (obviously I need a hobby/life). If I seem bitter due to the above statement... it's because I'm not looking forward to ... rewriting and editing the next three chapters that will be up by Friday... it makes me sad ...but Bitchy/Crazy Buffy makes up for it. Feel free to send a slap towards Buffy, I'm sure she deserves it. I would also like to apologize for the foul-foul-foul language I've used throughout this story (it doesn't go away now). Until tomorrow faithful readers...

Astounded

The girls fight well, at least against each other. I haven't taken them all on patrol yet, just a few of the better ones. Kennedy remained at the castle during those outings; she's been having a few problems lately. Problems due to Faith, or the lack of, still no word on her whereabouts, not that I care. The dreams have become some sort of bizarre ritual, they come, and I deal, simple really.

I was planning on taking Kennedy's squad, and Kennedy, out tonight, there was a strange 'disappearance' reported in a nearby town, vamps probably, so we were going to check it out. Those plans were cast aside; Giles had something important to share with us, all of us. Whatever he was going to say, was probably going to upset at least one person, and that was the last thing I needed. I had finished the last of the letters Dawn wrote; Faith was… turning into a different person after I left but big deal. You can change the outside easily enough, but what counts is deep down, and deep down… she's a killer, evil… and that's all that matters. _I believe… that's the truth._

"Giles, what's so important?"

He gave me a stare that kind of said, are you kidding me? Willow was sitting next to Kennedy across the table; Xander was next to Dawn at the other end. I was alone, technically, on one side. The eight months I was gone gave me some time to re-evaluate my stance on a few issues. Planning was good but taking action was better. Boots, get the job done much better than slip-ons. Leather jackets were cool anytime of the year and looked especially kick ass with an 'I-don't-care' attitude. All in all, I'd say my tactics took a more, exciting, turn. For the better.

"Buffy…"

"Don't start Will.'

"Watch what you say to my girl, _B."_

"Do we need a reminder on who's the boss?"

"Sure as hell ain't you."

"Come here and say that!"

"Ken… please…"

"No Willow, let her fight her own fights. She can't get rid of us all."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"See, dumb blonde." _Hey… _The arguing continued for only a minute longer, Giles broke it up by slamming the little book on the table. It made a surprisingly loud thump.

"The prophecy. That's what we are here to discuss. Now, let me start by congratulating Willow on cracking this bastard. Four weeks, that has got to be some sort of record." He gave a tired smile, which didn't go away as he continued. My heart sank, _I_ was wrong._ Impossible, how could I be wrong?_

"Buffy, the prophecy you gave us, was… technically… correct. The translation of one word was incorrect, I'm afraid your source failed to mention its double meaning." _Faith._ "_Cast aside views of past shadows, to keep faith would be to err; remove tired times and tried ways, leave behind that which has spread doubt and ways will return to that of long ago. _ The prophecy is vague in its meaning; it mentions nothing of the slayer line…" Giles is interrupted from his joyous rant by an over thrilled Dawn.

"I think I had that same 'prophecy' in my fortune cookie last week." Everyone starts talking at once, to anyone that will listen. Willow is smiling, saying she'll start putting more energy into a locator spell, Kennedy is sitting back in her chair with a shit-eating grin; Xander is the only other one not talking. How can I be the only one that sees it's obvious? Sure, it may not mention … me or any slayer directly, but isn't Giles always telling me to 'read between the lines'? I have to forget all the good Faith has done, by removing her… and things'll be back to normal.

"Buffy?"

Normal, like before _she _came here, anywhere, before she came into my semi-perfect life, I just had to deal with being in love with a dead-man, a vampire… and maybe death, and destruction all with demons and apocalypses… normal! Having control of my team, I'd like to have control over my team of slayers, that's all… is that really to much to ask?

"Buffy, hey?"

I guess it is too much to ask, to have her out of my life, maybe not dead but just, far far away. Even if Faith changed, and was a good-guy for real no take-backsies, the trust, for me at least, has been lost. _Lost because of a few words in a book that says she'll go evil again at the drop of a hat-_

"It never said that, Blondie."

_Faith. _I look up and there she is, standing in front of me. The others are gone now, _how did… where did… _

"Another dream B, seriously, this is getting annoying. I was eating." She has her arms crossed, and she rolled her eyes as she spoke to me. The goddamn dreams are anything but boring.

"It's not me."

"Never is, is it?"

"Just kill me and get it over with, we were discussing your fate."

"Fuck, it's your turn B. I gotcha last time." She looks incredibly bored. The dreams/visions/whatever have gone from occurring while I slept to whenever my mind slipped, and for the record there's no way I'd dream about her. I'd daydream about a beach, sipping icy drinks, perfecting my tan. _There would be no Faith, no vampires, or demons, or apocalypses to worry about… just the sun._

"Got that right B."

"These damn things went from spooky, eerie to us interacting normally, casually. You aren't curious as to why?"

"Nope. 'cause for all I know, this is exactly how it's supposed to play out. Why mess with a good thing?" She just stands there, same position as before.

"Where are you Faith?"

"Why, so you can come kill me?"

"Don't, don't say things like that."

"Why, it you make you nervous?"

I don't say anything; her normal self-centered attitude has taken a break, her voice is calming, even though I secretly do want to kill her. _Just shut up…_

"Come on B, you haven't changed that much."

"And you have!"

"Just talking never works between us, we talk better when we fight. At least then I get the truth from ya."

"I'm better than you."

She smiles and chuckles a little.

"Maybe."

"Buffy!" My eyes snap up and they are back again, _just a dream… nightmare… _

"Are you alright? This is a bit of a shock…" I nod. _What were we talking about?_

"Kennedy, you'll lead the search party… and Willow, another more powerful locator spell?"

"That could be tricky Giles, she's gotten very… er, good at confusing them. With her… fancy ways." He takes my sigh.

"No."

"What?" They all said the same thing in unison, how could I let them look for her. They were blind, always so blind. Having Kennedy lead a search party was like pushing a square peg through a circle, no… there would be no search party right now. "I said, no."

"I really don't think that it's your place to say that Buffy."

"It is, and I did." My words slide out slow and calm, like when I had first come back. I have purpose, I am the leader, and I lead. Insubordination cannot and will not be tolerated. _Smooth and cool… takin' it easy…_

"Tonight we were originally supposed to patrol and that will take place tomorrow night. I will take Kennedy's squad out to that new cemetery… Briarmaiden? I think that's the name."

"You can't do this!" Kennedy is yelling at me now.

"I am the leader, The Slayer, I am your leader and I ask you to follow… or you can leave." Willow laid a hand on Kennedy's shoulder and there were no more objections. Faith was more than capable of taking care of herself; she had done so for four weeks, she wasn't dead… at least not yet. In two days, that's when we would start the hunt… search for Faith.


	20. Tom Sawyer

**Disclaimer:** 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' is not mine, I don't think I can say that enough. 'Tom Sawyer' is a song by Rush. Awesome song, awesome band.

**Note:**Buffy is very, very conflicted. How the hell would you feel right after you were just told, 'yeah your prophecy is wrong and now you might have just sent one of the good-guys to her untimely demise'? You probably want her to 'get over herself', but I don't think she's ever been good at that… and I don't make things easy. And, ha, a little piece of funniness that I meant to put in earlier, in 'Dark Waltz' all my motivation came from one 'Robot Chicken' skit, it was the one with M. Night Shyamalan where he kept saying 'what a twist!' … my motivation to write comes from a very strange place.

Lots of little 'details' I need to mention but I won't spoil anything. I tried **damn** hard to make everything work, the ... times and ... time between events. Bah, you'll see as this story comes to a close (not now). Read and review? Review...? Haha. Until tomorrow.

Tom Sawyer

The rest of the night was uneventful; mummers ran the castle… not me. They hushed when I walked near, but started up again as I walked by. It was expected, they were all wrapped up in my_ failure _that they failed to notice I was right. In a sense… Faith had turned her back on me far too many times, she had broken the trust, the trust that was supposed to bind us, help us… make us work.

No, _no, _what I did was right, correct, a decision was made that I do not regret for a second. _I do. _There were two choices, both of which ended the same; at least she was able to walk out of here. _Would I have hurt her?_ I figured she would have gotten her fingers wrapped around every-single-slayer housed here; it came as a pleasant surprise when they actually still listened when I asked them to do something. _They don't listen now_. They quit listening to me when Kennedy started acting like Faith. _It was you. _

My room was cold, and damp. I had left the balcony doors open. The wind rustled the curtains violently against the stone walls. I stood in the path of the wind, the curtains moved, and so did my hair, my clothes, it felt like falling, it felt like waking up.

"Nice digs B; I wasn't even close to here was I?"

"Faith…" Her name was a sigh, which I didn't appreciate. No matter the person, their name was their own, and it deserves respect.

"Jesus B, who died?" She didn't chuckle, _oh_ _so serious, _my posture wasn't as strong as it normally was; I wasn't slouched but rather tipped.

"No one died. What are you doing here, Faith?" _Composure at 40 and falling, Captain. _I smiled slightly, I would never say something so geeky, so Andrew, so Xander… I would never say something like that to anyone.

"Ain't me. This is all you, always is." The wind was still blowing in through the doorframe; its whistle had picked up in intensity and was getting to the point of extreme annoyance, rather than just irritation.

"Faith." I couldn't hear myself over the wind, over the banging doors, over my thoughts. I found myself calling out to her, hoping she wouldn't hear me but also clinging to chance that she would. _Faith… Faith… Faith… _"Faith…" My voice came out as a very small opponent to the wind, a bumblebee versus a hurricane. _She won't hear, she's gone, she can't hear, she's gone. I've killed her, she's dead… all gone, all used up. No more faith, no more Faith. _The wind ran hard and fast against my face, around my body. The act of falling, the art of flying, that's what it should have felt like, should have been like. This felt like falling without a purpose, falling into ice-water. The cool shock of the wind made the voice in my head speak louder, which made the wind blow harder. _'You kill, B.' Faith… no more Faith… Faith… all gone… dead… Faith!_

"Right here, B." She whispered in my ear, the wind stopped the second I heard her voice. Smooth and cool in my ear, almost in my mind. "Not dead yet." A chuckle, so close. I could feel her breath drift by cheek; goose bumps ran the length of my arms. "One question, B. Buffy." A pause. I don't breath. "Why, why did you take my jacket?"

Its weight is heavy on my shoulders, as if she had just dropped it there, but I know she didn't. She's not here, the goddamn visions. They are supposed to be revealing, adding clues to my problems, our problems, they don't. Her jacket is warm; it provides an effective shield to the elements. The leather is old and worn, soft and stretched. It still smells like leather, it smells like cigarettes, and her. It fits too long in the arms, and wide in the shoulders, but it smells like her.

She doesn't get to hear my response; I would never have given her one. I run my hands up my arms trying to get rid of the bumps, and decide to close the doors. The wind had done enough; I didn't need it waking me up during the night. I slept peacefully, Faith didn't come back.

--

"Kennedy is your team ready?" She didn't reply.

"Ken." Willow had jabbed her in the side with her pen.

"Fuck, yes, we've been ready for weeks. We are ready for your chore and our mission."

"We will leave for the cemetery in fifteen minutes. Get the van ready, and the girls geared up. Right now." I wasn't angry with Kennedy, I just wasn't very happy with her at the moment. She's been defiant, argumentative, and just bitchy towards me lately.

"I never criticized your boyfriends." I gave her a look. "Your face, you were scowling as you watched her leave. At least… that better have been a scowl." Her voice broke a little.

"Don't worry… Kennedy isn't my type. She's just pissing me off." She still looked at me with confusion. "You have the locator spell?"

"Err… kinda."

"Willow?"

"Yes, but that's all I can say." My amused smile made her stutter. "G-G-Giles said s-so!"

"Willow, the yes was good enough."

"Why don't I look for her while you are… slaying?" She's hopeful I will say yes.

"Tomorrow morning. Nine o'clock. We'll send Kennedy in the right direction then." She nodded solemnly. I knew she would start looking for Faith as soon as we had left the grounds, secretly, I hoped she did. Faith would be fine; she… was able to take care of herself. I saw her last night, and I didn't kill her, so she must still be alive… otherwise I never would have seen her. _Unless, she's dead and that's her way of telling me, because she didn't come back in my dreams that night._

"Buffy?" Willow brought me out of my panicky state. "Go, you should go… they'll be waiting." Her smile was forced, but the touch of her hand on my arm was sincere. I touched the stake which was nestled inside my coat and left the library, left the castle, left to train the girls who had been under the care and supervision of Faith and Kennedy.

--

"You aren't utilizing their full potential, Buffy!" Kennedy was yelling again.

"I don't know anything about the 'teams' you have chosen, and their tactics. From now on, we'll be doing things my way, I won't let things slide like Faith did, like Faith allowed."

"You were trained to fight alone, to slay alone. You had no help! Tactics will have to change! There are more slayers now. You aren't alone, let us slay with you rather than-"

"I appreciate your concerns Kennedy, but for tonight we do things my way. If I feel it doesn't work, we'll adjust it when we get back to the castle." A shot a look at the slayers, who looked confused… angry, anxious.

"A Slayer must learn to fight alone, you can't always count on your team, and your backup may not always be there. If you always have a reliance on your team, you'll never reach your own personal potential. I want you each performing at a hundred percent individually before I make up the teams. If there will be teams." A deep breath.

"Listen with your heart, see with your ears. You think that twig that snapped was the vampire you were hunting… but it was just some really late night joggers. You didn't listen for their heartbeats, their breathing. It's in the details where you will find glory. You are all excellent fighters, Kennedy and Faith," _Why not Faith… just Faith… _"Have done a good job at instructing you in the basis. We now learn the details." They all look… enthralled. When I know what I am talking about I control them, I demand their attention with every word, every syllable. They hang on the pauses and wait for what I have to say. I am good.

"Kennedy, follow close. Let's find us a vampire."

--

"So, these vampires…" She smirked. "Sure are hard to find huh?"

"Not every night we get a kill. We should be thankful, but also wary. Having no activity could mean something big is brewing. We will ask Giles when we get back."

"So, we're done?" A girl asked… her name escaped me.

"No, pair off. We will do some partner exercises. Eyes remained closed at all times. First peeking offense will require a run of ten miles; the second will be twenty miles. Don't let me catch you a third time." I slammed my hands together and they jumped a little. I rolled my eyes while they muttered amongst themselves. _Giles was never this hard on me… _They need someone who won't coddle them when they get a boo-boo, we may have increased in numbers but the evil still lurks in the shadows, it's still out there. Without a slayer, all is lost; Giles can't teach them all… he couldn't teach two.

"Spread out with your partner, at least five feet between each group. There's a lot of room ladies. Hustle it up!" I sound demanding, hard and severe. _I sound like my gym teacher…_

"Eyes closed. Body and arm hits are one point, first partner to five wins. Go!" They spar, in the dark with their eyes closed. My eyes are open, my mind is closed. If there were vampires around, I'd be able to feel them. _You sure? _ Always can, there's nothing wrong with me. There aren't any out tonight… _You sure?_

The girls fight each other, they are slow and unsure. Kennedy has already beaten her partner and is staring me down. Waiting. Her eyes are unwavering but her muscles show something else, I am not sure we are alone. A slayer is never alone… but my heart is conflicted… we are alone, so am I. I've got the girls here and they seem, irritated that I am treating them like children, but … they are. Kennedy would be sure to show me up if there was a vampire around, she'd take any chance to undermine my authority… alright… back to training the kids.

They fought at the edge of the tombstones; I had made Kennedy rejoin the fight, she is good but she shouldn't be so cocky. If she lets this job, the power, go to her head she'll end up like Faith, or worse. _Or me. _No. I won't let that happen. The girls need a leader, a strong leader, someone who won't let them down, who'll watch their backs and kick them in the ass when they need it. And right now, they need it.

I yell at a blonde girl who had opened one eye for a second to gauge where she was attacking. Ten miles, easy. They were fast learners, once they understood that their ears could deceive them as easy as their eyes. They were learning to pick out the background noise, other heartbeats, breathing, grunting… it was easy fighting humans, fighting vampires would be trickier and would require a different sort of listening.

I walked into the rows of tombstones, drawn to one in particular. It was calling to me, a voice I couldn't place.

"Buffy!" _Kennedy._

"Eyes closed Kennedy!" My voice was loud but had a distance to it; my eyes were open and locked on the tombstone ahead of me.

"Buffy don't stray!" She was pleading with me. I would have chuckled normally. I am not a child; I am no animal on a leash. I go where I want, when I want, and that tombstone is where I want to go.

If she is shouting still, I don't hear it; I don't want to. The tombstone is all I see, all I want. I'm close, within ten feet, that's when I can start picking out some letters, there's and F and an L. The closer I get the easier it is for me to forget, there's no voices now, no breathing, and no heartbeats. It's just me and this piece of marble.

Five feet now and I can see it clear as day. _Faith Lehane… killed by… cream of wheat…_

"What?" I mummer and the noises of the world hit me hard.

The essence of 'what' lingers on my lips and lips linger on what is essentially my neck. "Oh bugger…" I knew I was being watched, I could feel this bastard watching us, I now know Kennedy could as well. She tried to warn me. Faith would have been beside me all night, never yielding, if she wasn't beside me she would have been close. She would have dusted this vamp by now… fifteen seconds… and I can feel my life slipping away… all is black.


	21. Whiskey in the Jar

**Disclaimer:** Alright... again, I own... nothing! Anything that resembles anything is merely coincidental. Heh. 'Buffy' is owned by greater than I. 'Whiskey in the Jar' ... now that will be hard to ...err, disclaim. From what I know, it was originally a drinking song from Ireland? ... I know Thin Lizzy did a cover off 'The Dubliners' version... and well I used Metallica's cover. So, lets give credit to all three bands. 'Kum by Yah' is ... owned by... I don't know. It was the first stupid campfire song that came to mind... apologies.

**Notes:** Ok... so everyone who reads this bunch of silliness will really hate me. Since I actually had to work at work today (I know!) I wasn't able to ... edit... as much as I had hoped. I did about 1/3 of this chapter. I'll finish editing tonight and post it tomorrow mornin'. But on to a more important note... this whole chapter was really, really hard for me to write (you may be able to tell). You'll read the part I expected to happen. This is not the end yet, but we are fast approaching. Thanks to all who stuck with it this far, as always, read on (review also?? heh...)

Whiskey in the Jar

My mind was clear now, besides Buffy and mom and her piss-poor advice, killing this fucker named Cam was the only other thing there. I had counted fifty vampires surrounding us, my eyes are deceptive, my gut tells me there are more. Temperance… Dessa… is still face down on the ground, she isn't dead, yet. The bastard is sitting cross-legged with his hands clasped, I think he's praying. _Better pray for your life. _I can't be sure. He's tall but thing, I could break him over my knee like a twig, his army is… more troublesome. Vampires are easy enough to kill, but if you are alone and against a large amount… careful planning needs to happen on the fly or no more you.

They would not attack all at once, the big ones would let the weak ones attack first, wear me down, so they could have an easy kill. The Powers received many thanks for my two tricks in my sleeve. Destroying the first wave would be no sweat, taking out the rest of them would require luck and careful planning, I had it all figured out. Except, the fact that I was still bound to a tree branch: two chains, two shackles. Not enough slack in them for me to rest my feet on the ground, no matter though, I was dangling from the branch, thinking idly. I had already tried to pull the branch off, no luck; it was a silly move which resulted in strained shoulders. _I can loosen the knots… shimmy down the branch. No, too many other branches in the way. _I had no clue how long I had; the group of vampires had built a bonfire but hadn't started singing 'Kum by Yah' yet, which was fine by me.

I was working my way into another plan when I noticed something shiny, something glint against the moonlight. It was strangely alluring; it shimmered again, this time I saw where it was coming from. The moonlight was catching a piece of Dessa's exposed sword.

"Shit…" I swore, low and under my breath. Her hand twitched, her breathing and heartbeat hadn't changed, my eyes travelled the length of her twisted body and arrived at hers. Her eyes were open, a pained look on her face but a small smile on her lips. She winked and I knew I had a way out of my chains. It was either I trust her and die, or face the vampires while hanging from a tree and die. So I figured I'd go out with my feet on the ground, pretty much a no brainer. I put total faith in her ability to 'know when to go'. I would be ready. The attack would be fast and would have to go without error. Everything would go to plan, there was only one thing I had forgotten, I couldn't fight off an army with my fists.

Clouds had been rolling in, thin ones, shading the moonlight while still allowing an eerie glow. The air was cold, damp and full of smoke. The bastard they called Cammoro was still sitting on the ground, the vampires watching. For as long as I had been watching them, they hadn't taken their eyes from his figure. His chanting had started softly and slowly, so softly that I could barely hear it. He didn't jump straight into shouting like a preacher might had done but slowly he raised his voice to something more audible.

Dessa moved quickly, springing up to her knees, with what appeared to be a lock pick in one hand, and her sword held still with the other. She was at my side in a second. "This doesn't change anything." I whispered sharply.

"It shouldn't. This isn't for you." She freed one wrist quickly, the chain clinked against itself. His chanting stopped, all the noises of the world seem to stop. The clank of the second shackle was deafening.

"You have a plan?" She whispered.

"Of course."

"You don't have a weapon." Her tone was not mocking. _Oh shit. _My mind began to race, images of my body being ripped from my limbs, being swarmed and sucked dry, it all scared me slightly, but also enraged me. _We were going to die anyways. Why not faster? _

"Here." Her hand grasped mine, my fingers were pried from my tight fist, my knife was returned to me. "I took it off you… before I brought you here. Just in case." _Just in case of what? _The knife felt good, felt right. Angel had made a good choice.

"We'll walk towards him. Stand at my back. When they come, they'll come hard and fast. Don't get to far from me, or we'll be done for. Try not to hit me with your sword, watch my back and we may get out of this alive."My voice is quick and to the point. Leading, I had thought, wasn't something I was good at. All it took was two deaths, and blood on my hands, to remove any doubt. I'll never be the cause again.

"I am afraid," His voice thundered across the gap. "That no one will be leaving here alive." He still sat in his 'praying' position, only moving his lips. The chanting resumed, we moved forward, and the vampires came at us.

I figured this wouldn't be the easiest fight of my life, or even for my life but the odds had now increased slightly. They rushed us, a sea of vampires. I brought my knife up as she brought her sword down, both making contact with their intended targets. I cut through as many as my knife would allow, cursing Angel quickly for not giving me an axe, or something larger. The knife did its job though. It was a part of my body, it filled the blank spot in my hand nicely, it moved gently and deathly as I spun, my knife found a nice home in the neck of a vampire that dared to get close. Up, down, jab, kick… the, my, actions blurred together as one, the vampires blurred together also, seeing them all rush at us would have sent a lesser Slayer to their doom.

Two more charged at my sides, I jumped forward into the sea and they dusted themselves. I fought my way back to Dessa, vampy arms flailing, grabbing hold of me. Together we were strong; apart we were weak. She was weakening though, no slayer stamina for her. She had proven to be just as good as any young slayer. Another foolish vamp came at me, sword pointed helplessly as he deflected sideways, taking a couple more down with him. _'A Slayer must learn to fight alone…' _B's voice echoed in my mind. My knife landed with extreme precision, knees bent with sickening cracks that rivaled the noises of necks. I was fairing well without B's advice.

My eyes were no longer fast enough to keep up with the barrage of vampy arms; they were forcing me to the ground, that's where I would be helpless. All the strength in the world and my push was still weaker than theirs. '_You can't always count on your team, and your backup may not always be there!' _ "Down Faith!" A faint voice, I did as I was told. The sharp blade made no noise as it made it rain. Dessa had turned her back to the swarm to cover mine. She had given her safety for mine. Who turned their back to the devil, to evil and expected to walk away alive? No one. One sword was all it took to break her; I could see its bloody tip below her right collarbone. The tip retracted quickly. The vamp holding the sword twisted up for the finishing blow.

The Two surfaced as my knife seemed to guide itself into the vamps arm, I caught Dessa as she tipped forward, and left her gently on the ground as I retrieved my knife. The vampires closest were dust before they could take another three steps. My speed was unrivalled by any slayer, demon, or un-dead hell monster. I picked up her sword and used it to finish off the remaining vamps who had charged, my speed make my less-than-perfect-technique not matter. I walked back to the woman on the ground.


	22. Whiskey in the Jar Part 2

**Disclaimer:** Alright... again, I own... nothing! Anything that resembles anything is merely coincidental. Heh. 'Buffy' is owned by greater than I. 'Whiskey in the Jar' ... now that will be hard to ...err, disclaim. From what I know, it was originally a drinking song from Ireland? ... I know Thin Lizzy did a cover off 'The Dubliners' version... and well I used Metallica's cover.

**Notes:** Oh wow, look who finish early! And... on 'So You Think You Can Dance' night... boy, I am proud. And, if I may be so bold, a little proud of how I finished this chapter. It went from complete and utter mess, to an utter mess. I have to apologize... the whole actiony-fighty sequences worked so much better in my head. It didn't translate well. It translated really really fast. So fast that ... well you'll see. I tried to slow it down... I really hope this is satisfactory. The uh, ... final chapter will be up Thursday (tomorrow). Thanks readers/reviewer.

Whiskey in the Jar – Part 2

Her wounds were more severe than I had thought. I hadn't noticed that she was fighting wounded, gravely injured. No human being should have had to fight like she did… with what she was fighting through. Dozens of deep gashes were spread across her body; she didn't have the speed or senses to dodge them all. My imagination left me thankfully; she had dodged so much… she had lasted so long…

"F-Find…" She chocked out a word, but mostly blood.

"I'll get your sister." _I keep my promises._

"He… he d-didn't k-kill her…" No tears in her eyes, just fear. The blackness had taken her.

"Rest now." She did. My jaw tensed as I turned my attention to the bastard Cammoro. I could feel the blood running down the side of my face; my wounds were small but there, and already healing. Paper cuts, that's all. I couldn't feel them before; I couldn't (wouldn't) feel them now. The small voices in my head wanted me to hurry, hurry to fight. I took my time walking near him, there were a few larger vampires left, nothing I couldn't handle now with the Two's help. The hard part was essentially over. What slayer could say she fought off an army of vampires without an army of her own? None. To be fair, slayers never used to have armies… and I didn't fight this one alone. _Vamps… so easy to figure out. _I smirked as I approached him.

"You are not of this world!"

"Sure I am. Had an accident, bit by a spider, toxic waste, watched my parents die…" I thought for a second. "I'm pretty sure I wasn't given a ring either..." My grin didn't face as he gave me a confused look. "Temperance. Let her go."

"What makes you think she is still alive?"

"I hear her heartbeat, she's pretty close." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, raised my hand that held my knife and pointed to the left. "She's over there; send your slaves to get her." He looked at me with big eyes, ones that I wanted to pop out, and a slack jaw that I wanted to break.

"You are impressive Slayer." _I know._ "You and I could be a most formidable team. Join with me." As he spoke he had sent to vampires in the direction I had pointed in with a wave of his hand. I just stood there, putting on a false look of thought. His offer was … enticing but that was no longer who I was. I ran a hand through my hair, it was bloody and sweaty but I really didn't care, my stance shifted to something less threatening, by sight only. I hoped that I appeared vulnerable, with my dark and blackened eyes; I seriously doubted I pulled it off.

One vampire dragged the squirming girl across the ground while the other walked ahead, aiming for the group. I would need to be fast, _faster_. There were only four that I had to deal with, and then Cam… but the vamps were bigger.

"It's been awhile since evil propositioned me. Went almost all the way with it once or twice… in the end it just leaves you bloodied and broken. If I can't be good, I'd rather be dead. I'll take you down dying if I need too." I spun quickly, trying to generate enough force with just my knife to knock the vamp dragging Temperance off his feet. It sunk deep into his muscular thigh, closer to his hip than to his knee. He dropped instantly. The others did not attack; Cam held them back with a hand. I cut Temperance out of the ropes that were binding her.

"Sup?" She just looked at me, she was a bloody mess. "I'm Faith." I pulled the knife from the leg, which resulted in a squeal. The vamp died, again, in pain. "I'm going to borrow your sword for a while." I dropped the knife at her feet. "If I don't see you again, give that knife to Buffy, if you make it out of here alive. Kay?" I smiled quickly and quickly spun around while rising to my full height. _It's so on now. _Full power? Not even close. Rage? Check. Was I being blinded? No. Took look at me and think 'yeah, all bets on Faith' would have been insane. Even standing as tall as I could, the blood running down the side of my face told a story of defeat. I was bloodied and bruised. _It's so ass-kicking time._

They were only twenty feet from me and standing still when I took the second one down. They were big, and angry, and not unlike the Nordic vamps I… we had burned before. Then there were two… and Cam, three more kills and this nightmare would be over. I was so close to coming out the victor. The largest of the vampires left swung his sword, I thought I had moved quickly enough but I didn't. It was like a paper cut, one that stretched across both forearms and my abs. I cursed in pain, they were definitely fast. But I was faster. Somehow I had managed to keep a grip the sword. He soon was dust. I swung hard and fast. _Home run! _ One left, and he was closing. I swung the sword up hoping to connect under his arm but no luck; he caught the sword easily in his hands, and held it still. He moved one hand down to mine in an attempt to force my blade back on myself. He was overpowering me.

Drawing energy from deep in my mind required a whole shit-ton of concentration, concentration that was also being spent on keeping the pointy end of the blade away from my soft, squishy neck. I was slowly gaining the upper hand as I pushed the blade back towards him. _Come on Faith… one big push._ I gritted my teeth and gave it what I had. The blade slide easily, I could feel every wave of its serrated edge. A pain I had only felt once before ran through my body, It was then that I realized the blade was not running through the vamps body, but my own.

A pained whimper escaped my lips as the knife left my body. A groan left my throat as the sword I had so desperately tried to hold onto slammed into my shoulder, thankfully… only the flat side made contact. The pop of my shoulder hurt more than the knife in the back. The ground was cold, and soon, soaking in my blood. The vampire was laughing, I had no clue where Cam where went, my mind was full of voices… _'Get up Faith! Get up!' _full of memories… _'Come on B, let loose…' _The sword made a heavy thud on the ground, the vamps hand was now pressing heavily on the base of my neck.

He was lying awkwardly on top of me. His free hand was running up my body, up my legs, my ass, my back, my shoulders, then back to my wound. I didn't know or understand how B could stand _their _touch. He pressed hard and I squirmed in pain against my will. He whispered close to me ear. "My first slayer..." The only thought I had was about how cold his hands were.

And the rage, coldness and rage. Rage fueled me, rage made my face form a scowl. I tried to let my body relax but my rage kept me tense, if I could only relax I could maybe- _'there! Now Faith!' _ I had trained the girls well; they knew exactly what to feel for, to wait for, his hand released only slightly on my neck as he brought his mouth closer to my neck. I turned violently, no longer risking breaking my neck, I straddled him now; he was frozen in shock. I found the sword easily and pressed it deep into his groin and enjoyed the pain it caused him, I dusted him quickly after that. I cut my hand badly bringing the sword down, I didn't care.

I brought my eyes up, Cam was still around albeit backing up slowly. He had a goofy grin on his face. "You are impressive Slayer. But the time is close; soon no one will be able to stop me." He had a knife in his hand, dripping with blood. My blood.

"You fuckin' stabbed me in the back! Fuckin' coward! You'll die painfully now!"

"As will you Slayer… I foresaw an event such as this. The blade was poisoned; you have but only a moment longer." I closed my eyes and smiled. _Of course._ He chuckled, and then laughed maniacally.

"That's all I need fucker." My eyes flashed black again as I opened them. I noticed he had neglected to account for his positioning, and the fact that I am the fasted fuckin' slayer to walk this goddamn planet. He had forgotten about his nice fire. For a second all seemed clear, and the next second all seemed wrong. _'Buffy!' _I listened carefully, someone was yelling. I didn't take my eyes off Cammoro. _'Get off her you fuckin' bastard!' No time Faith! Time to pay attention._

I charged Cam, maybe he thought I was done, all used up, but no… I'm a fuckin' superhero. He didn't move to the side or even glance down from his laughing, he only looked at me when the sword ran into his gut. The sword, which had been guided mostly by luck, kept going straight through. I grabbed his robe with one hand, keeping the other one the hilt of the sword. I kept pushing back, he moved easily. Only ten feet to the fire. I pushed harder, fighting back the poison, fighting back the coldness creeping down my legs, creeping up my back. Five feet down. I pulled as hard as I could, ripping the sword from his gut and shoving him forward. He didn't scream, he just burned as the flames claimed him. _Don't rise up you fucker_. He didn't.

My knees connected heavily with the grass, I teetered. _'Faith would have been beside me all night, never yielding.' _I can feel my life slipping away. Something sounds wrong, but not here. Fifteen seconds. All is black.


	23. The End is the Beginning is the End

**Disclaimer:** 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and all it's ... stuff/baggage/whatever is owned by people way more powerful than I. I mean no harm at all. 'The End is the Beginning is the End' is a song by The Smashing Pumpkins let whomever owns it own it ... heh.

**Notes:** Alright, wow... I'm done. I took some liberties here ... without spoiling anything. The whole first part is where I took the most 'liberties' ... I had NO clue ... so, yeah... I hope it passes for what could have been said. Many many thanks go out to the readers (why not?) and the reviewers (what few there were). I can't believe I got this bastard done, and with only a few glaring errors! Woo! And yes, this is the end of this story. For real. Read on (I would appreciate a couple reviews... please? ... no? Yes!)

Chapter 22: The End is the Beginning is the End

"Faith. Slayer. Awaken, we have much to discuss." _Xander? Dude…_ _It's way too early for this shit. _I opened my eyes, and the chamber I am in is an unpleasant surprise. _Oh no… _"You aren't Xander."

"Very astute." Giles said._ Angel._

"Oh shit…"

"Language please."

"Oh, right…sure." I was groggy, my back and shoulders hurt for reasons I couldn't quite remember. "What do you want? How can I be of service _this_ time…?" My sarcasm still worked. 'Angel' looked at 'Giles' who remained 'uninterested'.

"What'd you guys fuck up now?" I cross my arms.

"Language. There has been an unforeseen chain of events." I roll my eyes, as does 'Angel'.

"What's that mean?"

"It means that there has been a chain of events that we were unable to predict." 'Giles' restated. I shake my head. _What a bunch of morons._

"Last time you said that you gave me two more souls and told me to have fun." They gave me blank looks.

"We said nothing of the sort." 'Xander' chimes in.

"Live. Die. Make a choice." 'Giles' said but I could have sworn he muttered it.

"What kind of a choice is that?"

"Pick. Choose. Live or die." 'Xander' tried.

"Fuck that, what was the chain of events?"

"Should we explain it?" 'Angel' did anyways.

"In fifteen seconds, the human race will come to a … crossroads. The Slayer's will both die. There will be no, 'stability within the ranks' as you might say." _I'd never say that. _"You swore to live for good, for the good. Now choose."

"Fuck you, let me talk to B." They look blankly at each other. My back continues to ache. "Buffy, let me talk to Buffy." They all shook their heads in unison. "Not possible." They speak in unison as well.

"Oh, okay, well… I have all eternity to make a choice." I quickly become interested in a bit of mist hovering around my… toes. _Where the fuck are my boots?_

"We will make the choice."

"Not likely, I wouldn't be here if you could just choose." _I'm not half as dumb as they think. _"Let me see B." 'Giles' looks at 'Angel' then at 'Xander' and soon, I'm looking at Buffy, who is standing still.

"Faith." She blinks and we are in a graveyard that looks strangely familiar.

--

She circled me; I spun in time with her, watching. "This a slayer dream?" I shook my head. "Is this the after life?" I shook my head again.

"Don't think I'd be involved in your afterlife B." She looks doubtful, I'm not sure of what though.

"Be serious Faith. This is a serious situation." _You have no idea B. _She quickly become oblivious to the fact I am standing in front of her, she continues her insane circle walking while muttering to herself. "I can't remember… I was slaying, I think… Kennedy was there." She runs her hand through her hair. She has my jacket. It's been more than a month since I've seen her, I had forgotten how beautiful she really was, how effortless she made this gig seem.

"I have a serious question for you B." She chuckles and starts biting on one of her nails. I grab her hand to stop her from both actions.

"Really."

"You? A serious question… for me?" I nod. She takes her hand back.

"I need some advice. Your opinion."

"Don't fuck on the first date." She replies quickly and sharply, she adds in a glare too.

"I guess I should explain…" I ignore her comment.

"No _F, _I have a question." I relent and nod, rest my hands in my pockets which hurts more than it should. I'm not sure why I'm surprised that I still have pockets in my jeans, but I am. I am also very… dirty and covered in blood; B doesn't seem to notice though. I can't remember what happened to me, B sure is taking her time asking her question though.

"What are you doing here Faith?" _No clue B._ I was going to say that but she continued her question. "Where is Kennedy? The girls? What did you do?" She ended yelling, her voice full of emotion. I look her in the eyes. "What did I do Faith?" _That's a loaded question B._ The words 'you kill, B' sprang to mind but I didn't say them.

"Déjà vu." I mutter, I've said the words in my mind to her before but I don't know when. I try to think about it, think hard… but B isn't blessed with a lot of patience. She rushing at me, then pushing me backwards, her hands are flat on my shoulders.

"Answer me Faith! God just answer me!" _Don't yell B… doesn't help. _We are moving faster now, we hit a tombstone and we're done, well, it'll hurt anyways.

"Which one B!" I can yell too, she looks confused… maybe just because I can doesn't mean I should. I grab her arms and force ourselves to a stop. "Stop B… stop" My anger is replaced by softness, her confusion is replaced by anger as soon as the words leave my mouth, my rough voice isn't good for generating compassion.

"Let's let our fists do the talking then, _F._" She connects hard on my cheek, splits my lip and puts me off balance. "You losing your touch _F?_" _Fine B…_

"It was all supposed to be so easy B, two hot chicks with super powers… after the fall… things were supposed to be better… be easier." The words just come; I don't want to talk… I want to fight… draw blood, her blood. _It'll just end here anyways… I guess we might as well skip the bloody parts._

"For awhile, I thought they were… now look at us, at each others throats, wanting blood and death. That's all there is between us isn't there… blood and death. Maybe that's how we leave it, maybe." _Here's the problem B, hope you can help._ "I was given a choice, live or die, I'm finding it really hard to live right now… but if it's you who has to live on instead of me… well shit, I can always try a little harder." I poke a little hard, prod a little deeper, hoping she'll show me she cares about this… duty. _Heh, duty._

"You gave up B, gave up hard… came back all shiny and new like nothing had changed, but things did, a lot of things did. Can't see it can you, so blind. No more words, B, how much is left to say…" Her eyes never left mine, no tears, no anger, just B. Old B. Bakersfield B.

The knife was heavy, really heavy. I didn't remember picking it up or where I got it from or even if I've been holding it the whole time. The air was calm, cool, so was I. The choice was hard, but I alone had to make it. Her input will only make me feel guilty about my choice, damned either way. _I still need to know B. _ If she struggled, I could still win. If she didn't… then not all was lost. _Don't look B… never look._

"So this is it? This is how you win? I didn't need a goddamn prophecy to know you'd kill me in the end Faith. Fuckin' figures. I won't make this an easy fight; you'll take me out at the end, when we are bloodied and broken!" She was yelling now, but she was right, I was bloody and she was broken.

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate how you make me feel so wrecked, so alone… you just can't let me go can you? Get it over with Faith, let's go. Let's end this…" She drops into a fighting stance; I toss my knife in the air. It spins a few times around and I catch it with ease. It's my knife after all; I know all its little tricks. Fits my right hand better than my left, the leather band is worn down where my thumb rubs against it when I hold it blade in, ready to drop a slash from top to bottom. _Hell yeah, makes me look un-fucking-stoppable. _There's a small nick on the edge from the night I died, I know it all… every detail. That's why it's only fair to end with this knife. _Fair? If only_.

She's still yelling at me, how much she hates me, it's not true though, she's just angry. I whisper but she doesn't seem to hear. "Love yah B…" I bare my teeth into a forced smile, one step forward… one hard, slow step back.

The knife is now buried to the hilt, in an instant her demeanour changes. Her jaw is slack, not tense. Her eyes tearing, not blank. Her voice silent, not yelling. I stood, stood tall and strong even with a knife in my chest, _she'll do fine… she's competent. She'll get over not killing; maybe… maybe she'll learn to watch her back… rely on her team… maybe_. My hand still rests on the knife, _this is what they wanted right? One of the options..._ My eyes are full of tears, falling easily after years of being stored in a jar. I can't believe how helpless I am, I'm supposed to die quick, not slow… goddamn them.

"Faith…" She says hushed in my ear. She's holding onto me, I'm on the ground, in the smoke… mist… whatever. Blood, I think, has found a hole in my cheek. I swallow but it tastes like pennies, I don't do it again.

"B…" The dead whispers silently.

"Silly Faith… why'd you go and do that… huh?" She wipes my mouth with her hand; her hair has fallen across her face. _Hey B,_ _take care of them. _I want to say so many things, but my ticket is up… all over for me… the darkness is coming. Her figure begins to turn to gray, the black is coming from the horizon… it will be here soon. She keeps whispering but I can no longer hear it, take it. Her lies mean nothing to the dead. The blackness takes me quick, but the light… the light is even brighter.


	24. Final Note

**Authors Note:** So, hey.

I thought about it, and thought some more... and did some figuring... and then looked at my time line, and all the little notes I've made for myself and I realized something. Something pretty goddamn important. For... careful readers... one may notice I've left quite a bit unsaid, undone, left in shambles ... one might say. There is one mistake I cannot fix since it is now rooted into the story (anyone catch it?) so I'll work around it (it's not the voices of the characters... so shh).

So right, this 'goddamn important' thing. I never showed what happened after, to be perfectly honest... in the first draft of this silly story everything worked out in the end. In the second draft it ended kind of the same as it did now except I delved into Buffy's side of things a little more. Since I do love Bitchy/Crazy Buffy and have yet to grow bored of Faith... I've made a careful decision.

This story has ended, but there will be a new one, the continuation. I made sure to be very careful in my words... just in case I went and did something silly like change my mind. Good thing I did. I have a very ... poor understanding of where I will be taking Faith and Buffy and the gang. I'll leave a teaser at the bottom on the page. It'll change a lot I guess, I've already written out a couple chapters but they are out of order, but I have an image in my mind... and I do hope it will be just as good as this bunch of silliness ... if not better... I'm aiming for not worse.

30-Second-Teaser. (Yeah, no... It's early and ... never mind the title)

In the darkness the figure moved slowly, carefully. The figure had stepped tentatively at first, shuffling alone like there would be a drop-off at its very toes. There was no drop-off. The blackness was enclosed, a claustrophobic seven feet wide (the figure had no clue) and an eternity long, the outside however... was a completely different story. The figure had only traveled 100-ft in their shuffling motion. The walls were smooth, and floor a knee-wrecking stone. There should have been an echo, there wasn't, the silence likely ate the noise.

The figure walked briskly now, no longer feeling what was ahead of it with one toe, no longer fearing what wasn't there. One arm was gently outstretched in case a wall decided it should appear at the most inoportune time. The other arm was draped casually, two fingers twitching slightly as if calling for the thing that was missing.

"Fuck..." The figure swore, as she tripped over her feet again. "Shit... damn... fuck!" Faith yelled now, hoping to hear a friendly echo, something, but heard nothing. "Hello!" Her voice was still strong, no weakness there.  
"Shit."

While on the ground, Faith inspected the damage to her great toe. Shoes, socks, leather jacket, those were the things she was missing. She was at her feet after a moments rest and continuing her walk through darkness.

"This is fuckin' perfect." She chuckled. "Those bastards! But why not, I lived in fuckin' darkness." She looked up and yelled.

"Why not be dead in darkness too!" A pause.

_'Calm down, Faith._' The voice was back.


End file.
